How do you manage children's costs in a 50/50 arrangement

[ChangingStates]

‘Just about Ex’H and I decided to separate a few months back but are actually making the move in 2 weeks, 50/50 arrangement, we are at a stalemate when it comes down to how to sort out money for shared expenses. Invariably I do most of the spending on the kids ie school uniform, new shoes etc. He wants me to bill him for what I buy (and vice versa) whereas I want a joint pot. He is refusing the joint pot as not a fixed cost like bills!
Would love to hear how others are doing it- billing, joint pot or something else...

[CheapSausagesAndSpam]

My friend and her ex take it in turns. So one September, he buys all the uniform and the next it's her turn.

When it's "his" year, he replaces items as they get lost or grown out of or damaged. This includes uniform, lunch boxes, shoes.

When it's his year for unform...she pays school trips. Then they swap.

For clubs and classes, he pays one week and she pays the next.

They have a pretty good relationship and both earn fairly well though so this makes it easier.

[Whatiwishfor]

Do people make this arrangement on top of child maintenance? I so wish things were more amicable, as it stands my soon to be ex husband gives his children a total of £150 a month for both of them and i pay for everything else.

He probably spends more on his girlfriends children, which makes me sad.

[TsunamiOfShit]

Do people make this arrangement on top of child maintenance?

Presumably no child maintenance if it's 50/50.


We do 50/50 but exH is completely feckless so he claims the child benefit (so that he can claim housing benefit, tax credits etc.) whilst I pay for absolutely everything. All school trips, all uniforms and shoes, all clothes, all activities.

Every time I try and ask him for money towards these things he plays the poverty card. (He works full time!)

[RoseNarene]

I think the joint pot is a good idea. What's his argument against that?

[ChangingStates]

Sorry only just seen these replies! Thanks for suggestions made- interesting idea to take turns with things, may consider that more.

WhatIwishfor- haven’t seen a solicitor but have been advised that 50/50= no child maintenance

Tsunamiofshit (love the name) that sounds crappy for you, mine usually pays but it’s an ordeal and I always feel like the fact I am asking is a bit of power play, I hate it and sometimes just don’t bother


RoseNarene- he says because it’s random amount not fixed therefore doesn’t make sense, really he just wants control I think.