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I want to get divorced!

(7 Posts)
bugaboo218 Sat 09-Sep-17 18:19:02

Thinking of divorcing hubby. We just do not get on anymore. He is moody/snappy at times and I am not putting up with crap like that long term.

Can anyone who has been through separation/divorce process advise

I have raised the issue of divorce with him. He does not think I am.serious then he starts,saying that I will wreck all of our lives etc. If I go ahead and he will contest it and be as obstructive as possible.

He is retired and full time carer to one of our 3 children with complex needs and disabilities.

I work full time and I am away from home three nights a week with work.

Financially I have my salary and he has just started recieving a state pension. I have know idea at this stage how finances would be work or be split post divorce. Does anyone know?

The house is mortgaged (in his name only) and all household bills including the mortgage are currently split.

We are both still living in the house at the moment. If I asked him to leave he would refuse.

I really enjoy work, but once divorced my SEN child will require round the clock care and unless I can find childcare that has experience with complex SEN children then I would have to give up work.

Not sure what would happen regarding the house all three children are happy and settled in their schools.

Hubby also reckons he won't see children if we divorce to spite me ( bastard! But I think that is just talk cos he does not want to face up to possibility of divorce) and he won't pay maintance because he just will.have his state pension and a small private pension.

Anyone know where I go from.here and the steps I need to take. Also how much it will cost me ? .

V early tentative stages and it seems like a daunting and liberating step, but one I need to take.

OP’s posts: |
MrsBertBibby Sat 09-Sep-17 18:23:43

You need to see a solicitor for a proper run through of the likely financial outcome.

You should register your home rights given his attitude

www.gov.uk/government/publications/notice-of-home-rights-registration-hr1

Emily0007 Mon 18-Sep-17 07:33:55

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RandomMess Mon 18-Sep-17 07:56:22

So your H is primary carer but you expect him to leave the house?

millymollymoomoo Mon 18-Sep-17 08:24:14

If he is full time carer to one of your children, why wont that continue? You could end up having to pay maintenance to your ex.

See a solicitor who will be able to run through some likely options

CousinKrispy Mon 18-Sep-17 12:06:25

Definitely speak to a solicitor. Make an appointment for the free 30-minute consult that many will offer. Go in with the details like how long you have been married, the ownership of your house, the childcare arrangements, salary, savings or any other financial accounts, etc. They should be able to give you a rough idea of what to expect.

Maybe try not to worry too much about threats that come off the top of your husband's head at the moment (e.g. saying he won't see the children if you split)? Those could just be things he's saying to wind you up and lash out if he is feeling hurt, rather than credible threats. BUT, you do need to have an emergency plan in place I guess if he does suddenly piss off and leave you with the childcare in the short term--could you speak to your manager about whether you could take leave on short notice in this case until you can sort something else?

Mariam67 Mon 18-Sep-17 21:28:01

It is a problems when you are a responsible parent all your life and your ex-spouse retires without your knowledge to try to make you pay all the bills.
I have just found out that everyone else knows he's retired and I was the last one to know.

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