child maintenance contribution or lack there of.

[Janyliz]

we separated 2 years ago. It was my decision, we were miserable, sniping at each other all the time. We lived in a permanent undercurrent of tension largely through my lack of wish to have sex. I felt we owed it to the children not to think this was a healthy model on which to build their future relationships.

I kept the house and paid him my life savings to buy him out and set up on his own. I didn't want to pursue him for money preferring to maintain a relatively amicable relationship . He agreed to claim child benefit and pay this to me for supporting the kids, £130 per month total.

We have joint access with the kids, alternate weekends and 2 days in the week. I buy all clothes, uniform, shoes haircuts, clubs etc.
He's a brilliant Dad and I don't want to kill our friendly relationship but I'm struggling financially.
He refused to pay any contribution to the uniform bill of £300 saying the usual £130 is sufficient and the fact I earn (slightly) more means I should take it on the chin. The bottom line is he contributes nothing out of his own pocket for the kids and lives mortgage free due to my life savings.

lt feels like I'm being taken advantage of but I don't want to go legal and destroy the whole goodwill we've worked hard to establish. Am I entitled to anything more or am I just bitter because he lives mortgage free and I struggle?

[lippy72]

Surely you should be getting the child benefit if you are the resident Parent ? Also child maintance is a seperate issue the csa have a calculator you can use to assess what your entitled too plus you can claim through them if he is being difficult they do charge him extra to do that !

[NotSureIfiAmWell]

You have only got goodwill because he is winning in this situation.

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

He seems to think he is paying you £130 per month.
He's not.
The State is (to which you are perfectly entitled)

As above there is goodwill from him because he is sitting pretty

[QuiteLikely5]

Is he claiming because you are a higher rate tax payer?

I don't understand what you got out of this? Yes you stayed in the home but you paid him to go?

How much is your mortgage?

I would totally rock the boat and go to the CSA

[donners312]

you say he is a good parent but how do you reconcile that with his refusal to financially support them, they don't live on fresh air presumably?

[kittybiscuits]

I don't understand your contact arrangements. Does it work out 50/50?