Terrified of starting anything

[Agadooo]

I can't stand it anymore - the arguing about everything, him not seeing any reasons why I'm annoyed with him, him ALWAYS being right then sulking and not speaking to me for weeks. Had an argument this morning then he left for work with no goodbye. If I say I want to separate he'll say 'fine' and be very angry and hate me forever and make everything re separating n custody really difficult and I really mean that. He wants to stay in the house (said this during a previous talk about people splitting up) so I don't know how it works. Do I start looking at renting a place nearby and packing all my stuff up and we have to speak to someone about custody arrangements and him paying towards their keep? Who helps with this-solicitor/counsellor-I've no idea what to do? He can't talk calmly or discuss anything rationally. He works very hard and earns a lot more than me ( I work p/t) and puts it all into the house so I'm ok with him keeping it all for an easy life. As soon as I say anything there's no return and I'm terrified. What's my first step?