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Maternal alienation

(4 Posts)
Whyiseverynameinuse Fri 12-May-17 19:01:19

I'm sahm to 2dc, youngest sees stbxh, older teenager won't. Going through difficult divorce due to emotional and financial abuse. It's going to be a long haul and ex is starting to bad mouth me to our youngest during contact.

Does anyone else have experience of this? It's really confusing dc and upsetting me. What can I do? Solicitor offered to write to ex but that usually brings more trouble. Any tips/advice would be great - feel scared.

Coolmamma45 Fri 02-Jun-17 20:08:20

Hi dealing with exactly the same issue- responding with love is all you can do and just focus on being the great parent you are. Don't engage with him as abusers feed off the drama. Letter could possibly turn into toxic communication between Solicitors. Don't say anything disparaging about ex to child- I don't it's soul destroying and frightening but your the better person here your kids will work it out... all the best

jennyt19 Sat 03-Jun-17 16:14:07

Hi my brother had this. His exDW told a whole load of lies to his DD. She was just 20 months old when the split and her mother told her that he'd stolen from her like everything from microwave to bikes and money. She also did the ultimate and accused him of abuse. He went through hell it was awful and we all suffered. No his DD is 20 years old. She's at uni and she sees through her mothers lies. She was only 3 when her mother claimed my brother was abusing her. A few years ago my brothers DD came across the file in her mothers attic. You can imagine the emotions it caused. DD adores her Dad and DD was really upset and wild with anger. What I'm trying to say is that it might be painful right now to hear this stuff but it will eventually backfire and most likely it will strengthen your relationship with your kids.

Today my brother and his DD are beginning a 3 week trek through Australia. First time they've done anything this adventurous. Previously his ex would prevent them even going on holiday together.

jennyt19 Sat 03-Jun-17 16:16:36

Also picking up on Coolmamma - my brother also tried to stay positive about his ex to his DD and it did ultimately pay off. One final point, the last thing you want is to run up a huge legal bill so keep solicitors out of a stupid petty arguments.

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