Husband says he wanted divorce years ago

[complexsimplicity]

...and then retracts comment saying it was something he said out of spite in the midst of an argument.

Surely, there must be some truth in it?

Heartbroken.

[phoolani]

Well, maybe years ago he did want a divorce, then changed his mind? And he remembered that time when you were arguing? Only way to know is to have a full and frank talk I guess.

[complexsimplicity]

Hard pill to swallow since it's not really crossed my mind, despite the challenges.

If it's crossed his mind in the past, then it can do so again, which is why I'd like to address it. Difficult now he says it's untrue.

[complexsimplicity]

So, now I can't help but view my husband differently. As the man who once didn't love me or care enough to want to stay married.

I have since got in touch my ex, not because I want to cheat with him, but really just for comfort.

Feeling are just not the same.

[Hermonie2016]

Sometime when a marriage is difficult with seemingly no way forward divorce feels like the only way out.

I had felt like that for a few years before actually separating as my stbxh would stonewall and it felt as if the marriage was pointless.

How long are you married? It could just be sheer frustration on his side but let your dh know how hurtful you found it and ask him to commit to working through issues.

Arguments should not cause a marriage to fail but failure to resolve issues in a constructive way leads to resentment, which is a relationship killer.A marriage needs goodwill, trust and kindness.It feels as if trust has been dented but hopefully can be resolved.
Talking to an ex isn't going to help your marriage and divorce is not easy so if you have a fundamentally good marriage then it's worth working at it.