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Relationship split who gets the kids toys, beds, etc

(11 Posts)
earlycomputers Sun 26-Mar-17 08:33:10

I have split with my ex and have the kids most of the time as I am the primary carer. Ex and I were unmarried. My ex is claiming that specific toys and furniture belonging to the kids should go with him to his new house as he originally paid for them with his own money. The kids will only see him about 30% of the time. If he gets all this furniture etc then I will have to spend a lot of money to buy new beds/toys/furniture etc for the kids. Would I have any grounds to say that the kids furniture/toys etc should go with me to my new house? If so, should I have to buy these items off my ex? thanks

doublesnap Sun 26-Mar-17 08:40:57

They go with the children and then they choose which toys, but not furniture, are at which house.

InfiniteSheldon Sun 26-Mar-17 08:45:03

Pick your battles. If you've won on some big stuff walk away from this one,

WhiskeySourpuss Sun 26-Mar-17 09:52:02

They are the kids belongings (irrespective of who paid for them) therefore they go with the kids. My ex-h found this out the hard way when the judge made him return anything of the kids he had taken.

Large items such as beds etc would go to the kids new house (yours) but toys, clothes etc could be divided between both.

Berthatydfil Sun 26-Mar-17 09:55:03

Dc's furniture go with resident parent although depending on if they are with nrp overnight they will still need a bed and some storage. So maybe you can compromise.
Again toys stay with the dc in the main but depending on the items a box of favourites could shuttle back and forth.

earlycomputers Sun 26-Mar-17 12:29:28

My ex may argue that as the kids will be staying with him overnight every week he should keep all the kids beds/furniture... should I still insist these items come with me to my new house (as he paid for them originally)? Just not relishing spending hundreds on new beds/furniture etc

WhiskeySourpuss Sun 26-Mar-17 12:33:47

I guess though his issue will be that he then has to spend hundred on new beds/furniture...

How many DC's are there? Could you both keep some & replace the rest? So if he keeps beds but buys new furniture & you take furniture but but new beds?

thebakerwithboobs Sun 26-Mar-17 12:58:02

Just work out between you what is needed and go halves, surely? It's about making sure the children have stable and comfortable lives, a bed at each house etc. not a war over who gets custody of the Mr. Frosty.

earlycomputers Sun 26-Mar-17 13:30:07

There are 3 DCs. Whilst I fully agree it's not a war over who has got what, I am right to question which house the kids furniture etc will go to as I may struggle to pay for new furniture etc. My ex would not care in the slightest if i was put of pocket over all this. He would insist that he takes all their furniture as he paid for it. I will of course suggest going halves, but want advice on whether to push the issue if he insists that none of their furniture comes to my new house. What is normally done in this scenario? Should all the kids furniture etc come to my new house (regardless of who paid for it), on the basis my home will be where they spend the most time?

thebakerwithboobs Sun 26-Mar-17 13:36:13

But that last sentence is, for me, what's causing the problem. Yes, most of their time will be with you, but when they are at their father's house, they will still need a bed, surely? And somewhere to put their clothes? It's still a home for them so you can't expect to keep everything just because you have main custody. The children need enough in each home to house their possessions and ensure they are comfortable. Of course, this may mean they need less at their father's house if he is not going to, for example, keep clothes there but perhaps he is planning to rather than have you send them with a suitcase each time? It can be added as an item for discussion and division in your divorce I assume, but wouldn't that just add to the cost? Your husband and you are getting the divorce, not the children and so the split of their things between your homes needs to be as pain free for them as possible. I know you know that, it's just that sometimes adult arguments cloud the children's perspectives. Perhaps you could ask the children what they would like to have at their Dad's to make it feel like home? I do think it should be a joint venture between you though, financially. I am sure others will disagree.

InfiniteSheldon Sun 26-Mar-17 19:11:21

If you are moving out then furniture should stay in the dc's rooms. Toys should be mainly coming with them but some staying. Bed linen and clothes again mainly with you but if you are leaving the furniture I'd prob take all the linen that isn't on the beds tbh. I think taking the beds is unnecessary and unfair if the dc will be staying there they will be happier with familiar things. That's what I did tbh it didn't occur to me to take their beds we all slept on the floor and managed with a random collection of stuff my sisters and friends cobbled together.

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