Does this sound fair?

[Blushingm]

Dh & I have split. 2DC. I'm currently a student nurse due to qualify September next year.

House has about £30k equity plus we have a DMP owing about £30k

My suggestion is he pays mortgage until 6 months after I qualify when I'll be in a position to get my own mortgage. He currently pays £0 maintenance. I currently pay the DMP. I'd say he would then walk away from house and I'd take on debts so he forfeits his equity for his share of the debts. He would then pay maintenance until both kids finish education (either leave school or graduate uni as I'd be supporting kids if they go to uni)

[RedHelenB]

He needs to pay maintenance from now for the children. You then use this towards the mortgage. There will be no assets as your debts equal the equity unless he has sizeable pension or you do?

You will struggle do get a mortgage if you've been in a DMP for a few years.

[NerrSnerr]

I agree with PP, he needs to pay maintenance from now and that goes towards the mortgage. I would go through the official channels to ensure that it continues until your children are 18.

[Blushingm]

Ok thank you both

Today was 1st joint mediation and I'm trying to think of scenarios

If I pay the mortgage from now on and it's in both names won't that mean he's also benefiting as prices are rising here or when it's finished wouldn't he still own half the house? I would rather he be off the mortgage but I can't get one on my own as a student. Once I've qualified and worked 6 months I can prove my circumstances have changed and get a mortgage myself - or am I being naive?

[RedHelenB]

Try to get him off the mortgage in the future but for now you making the mortgage payments will help with that application. Yes he will benefit from price rises but he would if he carried on paying the mortgage as you proposed.
Child maintenance is a separate issue from the divorce btw.

[EnormousTiger]

It sounds like an interim plan that he stays on the mortgage until you qualify next Autumn and 6 months after and then you get a new mortgage is best. Could you wait until then before agreeing the divorce finances and have a consent order agreed between you rady to go in say Jan 2018 once your own individual mortgage application is approved? The deal could be house goes into your name only then conditional on the mortgage approval.

I presume the children will live with you (not certain of course as older children often choose to live with fathers or with so many house husbands around often the husband will get the house and children and wife lives in a studio or with her parents and pays maintenance these days).

The capital suggestion sounds fair - you have zero assets now when debts taken off equity in house so whoever taken on house with equity should take over the debt of £30k and its repayments (if the lender on those debts will let those debts eg go out of joint names - are they in your name or his under the management plan?)

[Blushingm]

Thanks Tiger

Yes both kids with me. And yes it's just a plan for the interim period until I've got proof my circumstance are much different - that I have a secure job with proof of income

[EnormousTiger]

Most divorce lawyers will say what works best with contact etc is what the couple agree between them and the vast majority of couples reach agreements. In a sense it's failure if you have fights in court and even if the judge decides who the children go to it often breaks down as it was forced on the couple so try to agree between you whatever you can.

[Blushingm]

He's kept saying 'but that's not fair on me!' The mediator had to keep reminding him it doesn't matter what he thinks is fair, it's what's best for the children that matters