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Access while in process of mediation / divorce

(13 Posts)
LewisAH16 Sat 10-Dec-16 17:09:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBertBibby Sat 10-Dec-16 19:54:18

Why on earth shouldn't they stay over? And overnights are important, they should get to enjoy his full care.

Presumably he can wash sheets and all that.

LewisAH16 Sat 10-Dec-16 21:06:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

millymollymoomoo Sun 11-Dec-16 08:17:41

They are not having a sleepover....they are staying with their dad. He needs to able to do all the parenting things like making sure they brush teeth and put pjs on, and a whole range of other ' mundane' things which parents do. It should not be the expectation that visits to their dad are only about full on fun entertainment..... then you would accuse him of being a Disney dad.

Separation will be unsettling but the best way to deal with quickly settle into some sort of routine which involves dad being a dad. There us nothing wrong with them sharing a bed at this age - it may even be a source of fun and comfort too at this stage

MrsBertBibby Sun 11-Dec-16 11:14:15

So they have, in fact, stayed over at his?

LewisAH16 Sun 11-Dec-16 13:25:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBertBibby Sun 11-Dec-16 15:58:28

So they did their first trial on a school night? That's hardly going to help, is it: straight off to school?

It needs to be at the weekend, and perhaps going back to you straight after breakfast for a few times. Then extend it.

Although if he can't reassure them and make them welcome it will be more uphill work, of course.

kittybiscuits Sun 18-Dec-16 09:01:01

I don't think 3 people can sleep in a sofa bed, if i've understood correctly?

kilmuir Sun 18-Dec-16 09:04:58

You don't want them to stay at his do you?
What nonsense about your daughters sleeping in the bed that your ex and new girlfriend share!

DayToDayGlobalShit Tue 20-Dec-16 03:42:55

Of course it is a new routine for them. But they are with their dad! They need to move into this routine and this snacks of your own wishes and not what is best for the dc.

DayToDayGlobalShit Tue 20-Dec-16 03:43:30

Smacks

EnormousTiger Sat 24-Dec-16 09:38:09

You could house share then. My daughter has a friend who is doing this - the couple have bought or rented two stuido apartments and the teenage children are staying in the marital home. Why should the children suffer just because the parents are splitting up?

Ellisandra Sat 24-Dec-16 09:44:00

What you are describing is just teething trouble and a guy who is not father of the year.

They won't get used to their new situation if you try to block it.

It's ridiculous to comment about it being the bed he's slept in with his girlfriend (I understand where you're coming from emotionally my XH was unfaithful too - but it's really totally irrelevant to the sleepover situation)

Reassure your children that it's fine to say they miss you - but also be firm in a kindly way, that they'll get used to it.

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