Can't seem to move anywhere

[Tingatingatale]

I left exh six months ago. We didn't have a happy marriage and I grieved for it two years ago and have spent since then trying to leave and failed endless times. He was emotionally abusive and has problems with drugs.

I left and have a lovely new bf and am very happy with him. Exh knows about new bf and is convinced it has been going on since last year. He will not speak to me at all in any form And when he does it is to fight against me.

The thing is he still calls the shots. And I also feel very guilty for hurting him. He tells me what time he is having the kids and what time he is dropping them off. I am scared of him. Any contact I have with him leaves me a bag of nerves again.

I need to start divorce proceedings but I know he'll contest any reason I put as he believes he has done nothing wrong.

I did get some strength when he kicked off too many times and I got a solicitor and police involved and took control but that just make it harder on the kids

How do you move forward and block them out? Thanks