6 years later..

[LouiseAZ09]

hi all.. just some advice..
was with my partner 6 years, was my first and only relationship. after 2-1/2 years we had a baby. beautiful little boy who is now 3-1/2. polite loving, just the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me! my entire world! I went to back to par time work when he was about 7 months. from home, then studied a course at college for 2 years. anyway....
I fell pregnant 9 months ago, my son had just had a operation and I hadn't taken the pill for about 3 days. thought nothing of it. silly me I know.
I wanted to keep the baby, felt I would cope fine and my son would of loved the baby so much he's very sweet loves my friends and family's children. however my partner told me if I was to keep the baby I would lose him and his family. so at the time I decided to terminate. which I would of had a baby by yesterday!

he has left me about 2 weeks ago. we have no connection I have no sexual attraction to him since what happened. however sharing my son is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. lonely nights without him to watch a Disney film and to wake up with him saying mummy I love you get up! i guess I want to know if it'll get easier? if I'll stop crying every time I'm alone? if the pain will stop and I'll ever talk to his dad properly again. advice and critisim welcome. but be easy I'm a bit of a mess 😞

[Minime85]

Hi op, you have certainly been through the mill. Things do get easier. Time makes things feel less raw. You need to fill the time your son is with his dad with nice things like decorating or a nice walk or meeting friend or a massage. Small things. You will come to appreciate the time you have to yourself. You have to tell yourself too that even though it hurts, your son should have that relationship with his dad.

I'm three years down the road now. Not the same situation but DH left after 13yrs together. I still don't forgive him but we do speak amicably. We co parent well together. You will too. It just takes small steps and holding your head high. The first year of everything is the hardest.

[LouiseAZ09]

oh course my son should have a relationship with his dad. his dad is amazing with him, they go to the park to play football make things together. I'm jus very sad that I have not only lost my boyfriend of six years but my best friend. we shared everything together I miss him coming home from work and cooking him and my son dinner, and one of the saddest things is my son wakes up and says where's dad? and every morning I say he has gone to work early. I feel like I've let my son down by letting his dad walk out of my life. I want to co parent I want my son to see his dad as much as he can but at the same time I want to see my son just as much. the past weeks been the hardest, I've been out most days with my son, we have been to soft play, swimming, the beach. my parents home. And everywhere I see babies and happy families. I'm so so so greatful I have a beautiful child but I miss his dad like mad. I've never known to be without him. as for my 'friends' they're not there for me much since I had my son I'm
Only friends with work colleagues and other mums from his nursery. not really friends just people I talk to and say I'm fine too. the nursery also questioned me and said where's your sons dad.. I said he's been unwell and not able to pick up him at the moment. he is only having him when he wants to st the moment. my son doesn't like staying out ever I've never left him for one single night. and now he is staying at his grandparents with his father he is starting to realize some thing has happened I can tell. thank you for your reply 😊. it does help me just having advice and I guess just someone to talk too thank you x

[Minime85]

Hi Louise, how are you doing? I think you need to be honest with your son and you and his dad need to sit down and tell him together that daddy is going to live somewhere else now and that you both love him very much but mummy and daddy are not able to live together anymore. Mum and dad glue is a good book to use to help to do this.

I wouldn't worry about telling anyone else until you want to but I think his nursery should know even if it's just his immediate carers. In time you will be able to tell others. I know I found it very hard to say the words to start with and only told immediate family and friends and the dc's teachers for a good few months.