Divorce - where to start?

[BreakfastMuffin]

I've just had about enough and am looking for advice on what to do and how to start a divorce process. I've no clue and don't have anyone to ask. Thanks

[MinnielovesMickey]

I've come here looking for the same answers....I feel CAB might be a good start, I'm not ready for a lawyer, I have no idea where my head is at, I need someone to literally tell me what the hell to do....feel trapped

[orangebird69]

What's your circumstances OP? Children? Owned property etc?

[MilicentKing]

You can get a free 30 mins with a solicitor. CAB should be able to recommend a family lawyer.

They will want to know pretty much all your details - married, children, your home, assets, what work you both do, liabilities, the circumstances surrounding your wish to divorce.

They should then be in a position to advise you how to proceed.

Taking control of the situation will give you strength.

Meanwhile, if you can get your financial things in order that will help you massively. Details of all accounts/assets/liabilities you have your name on (he will have to provide details of accounts/assets held in his name only).

[mustbetimeforacreamtea]

The government website is very good (and in plain English) on the mechanics of what happens: www.gov.uk/divorce/overview

Also recommended free half hour with a solicitor.

If it is straightforward and reasonably amicable (and you want to keep it that way) downloading the forms from the gov.uk site isn't difficult. Keep all the paperwork they send you, the decree absolute comes as a bit of typing on a single sheet of very cheap paper that would be easy to disregard.

[Minime85]

Do go and see a lawyer even if you then file on your own. The online gov website is good. I filed myself for unreasonable behaviour. Lots of advice on line of how to word it.

[NeverNot]

Watching with interest.....H has just had second affair.....I'm done. Would love to know what comes first....so solicitor advice, got it.....then how do you "file yourself"?

[orangebird69]

Unless you have children and/or property owned, solicitors are not often neccessary.

[Minime85]

Download the forms and complete. Unreasonable behaviour easiest way. Need to use 5-6 examples in 6 months before the separation. Phrase it factually not emotionally. Use petitioner for your name and defendant for ex. E.g the defends at told the petitioner that she was unattractive, unlovable and overweight this upset the petitioner and made the petitioner have low self esteem.

[PaintedDrivesAndPolishedGrass]

Solicitors get a lot of flack but in my experience every penny I paid was worth it. I really felt supported and that they were on my side. They even let me pay monthly. I've used them for advice on a very complicated matter since and again they were excellent.

[NeverNot]

Sorry to OP for hijacking thread momentarily....
In my circumstances, there' 2 kids, and a house jointly owned. He's agreed to sign the house over to me and will pay maintenance. I have no reason to believe he'll not do this. He's devastated as I don't think he ever imagined I'd actually end the marriage.
I just wondered if there is a way for the solicitor to make the agreed maintenance a more official agreement? Am i being naive or can the set amount be legally agreed as part of the divorce proceedings?

[millymollymoomoo]

are you referring to child maintenance or spousal maintenance. Child maintenance is usually handled outside of the divorce and I think in case where it is dealt with as part of it it is only valid for a year and then can be varied (within CMS)

Spousal maintenance would be dealt with by the divorce

[Minime85]

I think solicitors are good obviously if you are not amicable or it is complicated otherwise you can save a small fortune doing it yourself. I went for a solicitor appointment to talk things through before and she said to me I was perfectly capable of filing myself as it wasn't complicated. Re maintenance this comes after the nisi is issued in the form E or in a separate consent order which is what ex and I had. Again we did this ourselves through an on line company. I got the house. He can't sign house over to you as simply as that as if joint mortgage you will have to be assessed to see if you meet mortgage company critiera for paying mortgage on your own.

[MrsBertBibby]

Nevernot, yes, the Court can make child maintenance orders (but only by consent). Otherwise, it's CMS or bust. And the consent order amount can be changed after 1 year by either of you going to CMS for a reassessment.