My marriage is over and has been for years. I am so unhappy and fantasise about leaving. The trouble is I haven't worked for 11 years. I have tried to apply for jobs but H says I need to be here for the children as he can't be flexible with his job. He works long hours, sometimes away and is no doubt having an affair, but I have no proof and tbh wouldn't blame him.
We have no intimacy, the last time he touched me in any way was last August when my dog died. We haven't had sex for over 4 years.
So I feel very depressed, lonely etc but keep staying for the children. He earns about £80,000 PA, we have a reasonably large mortgage. We have no family nearby to help with childcare, so if I got a job it would have to fit in with school hours/holidays which is difficult.
We have three DC aged 11, 9 and 5. How can I leave without ruining their lives? (My eldest suffers from anxiety as it is) If we divorced what would I be entitled to? I feel like he owns me, I have no financial independence and feel rock bottom. I really don't think I can do this anymore. I don't want to stay, but don't think I can leave. He's a good dad most of the time, but he does get stressed and I think he is hard on the kids at times.
Is there any way out for me, does it depend on how amicable any separation would be? I don't want to take him to the cleaners, I don't want to rely on him at all, but I would need the children to be looked after financially. Or do I just carry on and try to avoid a breakdown which is where I feel I am heading. Am I being selfish, wanting a chance of happiness at the expense of the children's happiness?
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Divorce/separation
Feel owned by my H, if we separate what would happen financially?
6 replies
Interestingdrug · 13/06/2016 21:27
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