So Angry Right now

[AmyC86]

Sorry in advance for too much information....

just found a picture of DH's erect penis on Tumblr, I'm so angry I don't know what to do. I've left the family home this evening. He has made the excuse that he thought it was anonymous and no one could see it, despite the fact that he used his email address without the @blah.com

What the fuck am I to do?

[PalaceResident]

Didn't want to read and run... Sounds traumatising! Did he explain why....?

[AmyC86]

He basically said along the lines of that he thought it was anonymous and he didn't think. He just did it to see what would happen - WTF he wanted to happen I'm not sure.

[happymumof4crazykids]

How did you find out he was on tumbler?
Is it a dating site or a hook up site? Or something else altogether?

[antimatter]

is he 8 years old to not know what happens when you post pictures liek that on the internet?

or is he pretending not to know?

[AmyC86]

From what I can gather, it's like another version of Instagram. I noticed that he'd liked some pictures from Tumblr as he had shared them to Facebook. Thought I'd sign up and follow him as we do instangram etc then I find his account and the pictures. Plus likes of his pictureson and his likes to things that can't be described as anything but porn.

antimatter I'm not sure what to believe. I'm at a friends house tonight and she's completely bamboozled about the whole thing it's a despicable thing to do when your in any kind of relationship, let alone a marriage.

We're also on the first cycle of clomid to start a family, as if I haven't got enough stress in my life at the moment!

How I stopped myself fron hitting him hard I don't know. I was screaming the house down to the point where it sounded like I was being murdered because he barricaded me in the bedroom begging me not to go. I'm in a complete and utter mess 😣

[Claraoswald36]

I'm confused did he just post it publi ally or is there contact with someone else on it?

[AmyC86]

There were several pictures of him with an erect woooopa on an open public account.

Anyone searching for him will have seen them. This man I call my husband is a professional in his job and anyone who knows his email address would have found the pictures. He could be sacked from his job or anything.

Least of all the stress and upset caused to me.

[Claraoswald36]

That is such an odd thing to do. Has he ever done anything remotely like this before? Is he under a lot of stress? Not down playing at all btw just wondering about context

[AmyC86]

Yes he has done this before, years before we where married he flaunted himself all over a dating website.

So contextually he's got form, probably gets a thrill from being 'online'

He doesn't appear to be overtly stressed, seems his normal self, if anything a little less stressed.

I'm just really concerned as to what to do, yes okay I know that I have to talk to him at some point, he's my husband. But at this moment in time, I'm too angry and upset to even consider it.

Ive stopped at a friends house last night which is OK for a few days, but not on a long term thing. I can't go to any family as there's no room (parents have younger siblings, older siblings have children). I'm tempted to get him to go to his mothers for the time being while I come to a state where I feel I can talk to him, what do you think?

[Claraoswald36]

There's a few things going on here you need to unpick. I think asking him to vacate the house while you have a think is reasonable - he is the one in the wrong not you.
Foremost is risk - have the images been removed? You are right to worry about job etc.
Secondly you need answers from him
About what this is really about? He may not immediately have them - exhibitionism /thrill/stress release - it's a weird one!
Hope you are ok this am op

[winningticketholder]

He sounds like a glacier, this is what you can see, do you really want to stay with someone like that - actually share children with when you are yet to find out what lies under the water? FWIW barricading you in a room should be enough of a hint at what the future holds, consider this a lucky escape.

[AmyC86]

clara I'm thinking that asking him to vacate is completely reasonable especially when he can go to his mums.
To my knowledge and ability to work the said Internet site, the images have been removed.
He did text me last night, basically said that he isn't going to apologise for being an idiot. He's got past history of similar things, so God only knows whatsomeone going on in his head.
Slept for around 4/5 broken sleep, my friend said that I looked dog rough this morning.

winning I agree that there seems to be a lot under the surface of him. It makes it difficult because everyone he meets thinks that the sun shines out of his arse. The barricading me in the bedroom is a new one on me too, although it's not a great situation, I think that it happened through sheer desperatation of not letting me go/leave. After all I did throw my rings in his face.

[user1464519881]

You need to decide if you can get over this. He has been terribly stupid.If he might have lost his job over this that puts his family and children at risk of no income. Would he have been happy if you had put your private parts all over the same site for example? It doesn't sound like you both agreed that and have an open marriage so he's been ridiculous in doing this.

In terms of divorce law you could call this unreasonable behaviour and divorce if you want to but might be better to have him come to a mediation and try to work through it.

[AmyC86]

Thanks for your info user it's a stupid and discusting thing that he has done.

I don't think that he's realised how serious the matter is.