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am I being naive?

(5 Posts)
TheBigRedBoat Mon 18-Apr-16 22:14:00

I'm looking to get a divorce, the forms are on the uk gov website.
We have no joint finances and he has told me he's not interested in seeing the kids. Can I simply fill in and post off the forms, apply for the decree nisi then absolute within the timeframes?
It all seems too simple - what am I missing?

marriednotdead Mon 18-Apr-16 22:33:34

It's not that complex generally but you may have to do a bit more paperwork wrt to the children.
This solicitor has a divorce forum which is very helpful indeed.

The basic divorce was £410 when I did mine last year- you pay to file the initial forms. If you opt not to deal with the financial side (aka ancillary relief) formally- another £255-, you both leave yourself open to future claims. This may seem highly unlikely if you don't even own the house you're in but if one of you were to win the lotto for example, the other might be tempted...
There was a high profile case in the last year or two involving a chap who'd divorced 15+ years before and then gone on to make a fortune with wind farms. The court awarded his ex wife rather a large sum of money.

pinkpeter1 Mon 18-Apr-16 23:12:39

He's not interested in seeing the kids?! What is he, dead inside?

TheBigRedBoat Tue 19-Apr-16 09:10:28

Yeah he's an asshole. People who don't care about their kids baffle me.
Oh I do remember that case actually! It's pretty unlikely but a good point.

Gawarngawarngawarngawarn Thu 21-Apr-16 18:58:29

I would be careful - my ex said he wanted 50/50 in 2005, so we didn't get a formal arrangement, and the whole thing has been a ball ache ever since - for five years we did all his school runs, and paid for all childcare (even on his days of contact), so eventually we said unless he stepped up to his responsibilities, the arrangement would have to change. He objected (of course) so we went to mediation, and ended up going back to 50/50. Then a year ago, he persuaded the children that they wanted to live with him, so live with him they did, and we saw them twice a week and every other weekend, and half the holidays. Then six weeks ago, he failed to return DS - DD is now 17 and has reinstated contact, but we haven't been able to talk, see, text, or email DS since. We've ended up having to file a C100 child arrangements order, so that we can (hopefully) see DS for the next 3 years, when he'll probably move to his dad's anyway, as we're apparently all evil over here. Essentially, though, the warning is that whatever he says now can change - and likely will. Getting a proper arrangement done will at least set out expectations, even if that expectation is for him to not have contact, iyswim. Good luck.

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