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holiday agreements with ex

(6 Posts)
confusedaboutlostpassword Thu 18-Feb-16 09:29:29

Can anyone point me in the right direction or advise what I should do please. 2 teenage kids. Usually 50/50 shared care. What do others do when booking a holiday for themselves? I have been invited to go away with a group of friends in the summer. Do I have to run this by ex first? Do I need his agreement to go away? How do other people handle this sort of situation. Hasn't ever happened before, we just agree holidays between us. (divorced a few years now). Thank you for help smile

NeedSomePeaceAndQuite Thu 18-Feb-16 09:31:39

Is there normally a problem him having the DC in time that isn't his? If it's your time with them then you'd need to ask him if he can have them in that time but you don't need to explain why or ask him to go away, if it's his time then it's none of his business you going

confusedaboutlostpassword Thu 18-Feb-16 11:18:38

We haven't yet worked out whose time it is - we usually agree between us, but this would be me telling him he must have them then - even though they can be left during the day at home. I've never asked him anything like this before. I didn't know if it is fare for me to expect to dictate to him that I will be going abroad and insist on he has the kids?

Minime85 Thu 18-Feb-16 14:01:19

I'd just be telling him that's what I was doing but I'm dictated to by his shifts so we don't do 50/50. I think you could say you want to go and then he may say he wants specific week in return. We alternate the cheaper week of summer as we break up before rest of country.

shoeaddict83 Thu 18-Feb-16 15:08:11

my DP and his ex share the school holidays, but when we plan our own holiday he just texts/emails and lets her know the dates we will be away and if it falls over a weekend we would normally have the kids he just double checks thats ok and then organises to swap it with one of her weekends so we still get the same time with them, and works vice versa for her.
Same as taking the kids away he just texts and checks those days are ok before we book, and same with her.
Dont see it as 'dictate' we just check that its ok for them to be with her extra then return the favour when she wants to go away.
works ok for us, i dont think in 3 years we've ever had any instance where us or her have said that it would be an issue.

confusedaboutlostpassword Fri 19-Feb-16 15:06:29

Thank you. I will try asking him and see what he says. Watch this space!

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