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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Maintenance payments if ex partners mum has daughter overnight ?

16 replies

skye33 · 05/02/2016 21:56

I'm currently separating from my partner and trying to establish what maintenance payments I can expect from him. The question I have is if my ex's mum is the one who will be having my daughter for overnight stays ( and my ex says he will stay at his parents the nights she is there ) does that count as him having her so will reduce the amount I get ? Greatly appreciate any advice if anyone been in similar scenario ?

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nancy75 · 05/02/2016 21:57

I'm not an expert but I would imagine that counts as a night she is with him so if it is every week it would be taken in to account when working out how much he pays

Gazelda · 05/02/2016 21:59

I would have thought it's the number of regular nights that your daughter is with you that counts.

skye33 · 05/02/2016 22:09

Thanks yes I'm thinking that it will probably will be taken into account and reduce the amount. Which is fine as long as he is actually at his parents as mostly " him looking after her " when I work and am away overnight consists of his mum having her and him being at home watching football !

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AliceInUnderpants · 05/02/2016 22:11

Of course. He isn't legally required to provide financially to you for nights she isn't with you.

Fourormore · 05/02/2016 22:11

It's the nights she spends with him that count as far as reductions go and it's done on a yearly basis. The CMS doesn't care who does the actual care, just that child and NRP are under the same roof.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 06/02/2016 20:19

Doesn't have to be under the same roof - your ex may make his own arrangements for childcare on the days for which he has responsibility for your DC. So if your ex and/or his mother have your DC for 2 nights per week the CM rate is reduced accordingly.

Whether or not you're entitled to be steamingly mad with your ex for shirking his fatherly responsibilities is a whole other thread...!

Fourormore · 06/02/2016 20:56

That's not how I understand it, WiseUp. Perhaps worth checking with the CMS, OP.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 07/02/2016 00:16

Isn't the reduction for 52-104 nights supposed to represent the nights off that you get form looking after them, i.e.days you don't have to pay for their dinner etc?

So whether the DCs are staying at his house, their GMs or a hotel, it's a night that you're not responsible for taking care of them, so I would count it as a night off. I think if you can accept some time off graciously and calculate the maintenance accordingly, rather than using it as a way to try and get more money out of him, it will help to keep things amicable.

I know that sometimes the amount they calculate is pitiful, but TBH, if your ex is intent on wriggling out of paying his way, he will find a way, so arguing the toss about where your DC will actually sleep won't really help you in the long run.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 07/02/2016 00:18

And if he's not with his DD when it's his time, that is his loss but the end result for you financially is the same.

Your DD will be with her GPs who presumably DO want to spend time with her, unlike her shit dad, so actually it's best for her too. She's getting to keep up her relationship with his side of the family without being exposed to his selfish crap parenting.

skye33 · 09/02/2016 13:59

Thanks for advice. Did think that it would be classed as the same if it was his Mum having her. MarkGruffaloCrumble you ve summed up how I feel about the situation and his parenting ! She loves it at her Grandparents and they adore her so that's the most important thing that she s happy. Perhaps need to vent on some other issues elsewhere !

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Fourormore · 09/02/2016 14:23

I would really double check skye, I do remember something in the CMS documents about them having to be under the same roof.

skye33 · 09/02/2016 16:16

Thanks Fourormore will double check it as trying to work out what I may be entitled to and need to be sure.

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skye33 · 09/02/2016 16:17

Thanks Fourormore will double check then.

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DeoGratias · 09/02/2016 20:42

Should count as him with them just as when I have to go away on a business trip (I work full time and support the children alone and paid their father on the divorce - talk about a triple whammy) that is a night the children are "with me" as I've paid for their care.

redannie118 · 09/02/2016 20:57

Hello op im a case worker for CMS 2012 scheme. The official line is the paying parent recieves a 1/7th discount for every overnight stay he has the child/children as long as that equates to 52 nights a week or more over the year. Over night care is classed as staying in the property he lives in or at another persons property (ie grandparents) while he is also there and contributing to costs or paid childcare eg a live in nanny. Hope that helps

skye33 · 09/02/2016 20:59

Thanks Redannie118 that clears it up !

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