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Returning to work after divorce. Who pays for wrap around child care?

(13 Posts)
Mosman Mon 27-May-13 01:57:53

Make him have the children more then he has to arrange childcare out of his budget for the days he has them plus he gets some of the school run stress and juggling being in two places at once. I cannot believe the number of people who allow the ex's to just have the nice easy weekends.

MirandaWest Sat 25-May-13 11:11:12

With childcare for the DC I work seasonally (exam based) and when I am here and working I pay for childcare (generally breakfast club and sometimes after school club) When I am away working we split the cost as there is more of it (although that work is better paid for me). As I don't use enough childcare I don't get any tax credits help with it.

I see it that XH is generally able to carry on working without needing childcare (he is able to drop children at school and then go onto work which I can't due to when my work starts) and usually I am there to pick them up from school.

I won't be having spousal maintenance when we do divorce so that isn't a consideration. If I were to work full time we might rethink it but at the moment it is OK. I anticipate not working full time until DC are at secondary school and so less childcare needed, but we are generally amicable enough to be able to discuss things.

Spero Sat 25-May-13 10:58:22

He can't have it both ways. He can't have a woman bringing up his kids for free then cut her off when you separate. As they are 4 and 6, this is going to impact on your earning capacity for some time to come. I would certainly be looking at spousal maintenance limited to a term - ask for 10 years but be prepared to settle for less. If he has surplus income, it should certainly go on helping you back into job market. Or he could just transfer his pension to you?

Court is concerned by what is fair. Him holding on to massive income while you struggle to arrange child care is not fair.

Grammaticus Fri 24-May-13 20:55:43

You do. Tax credits will help.

Shybairns Fri 24-May-13 20:50:04


Shybairns Fri 24-May-13 20:49:47

Kids are 4 and 6.

He is sensitive to the kids needs. How ever he wants me working.

He wants to ofset the spousal maintenance by what I earn. Which you might say is fair enough. The more I earn the less spousal he pays. However if the majority of my wages go on child care then I don't really gain anyrthing by working.

He keeps more of his waking salary and I remain poor.

Spero Fri 24-May-13 20:45:10

So long as the money is there, you have a good argument for spousal maintenance as you have damaged your earning capacity staying at home to look after the children. It is certainly worth arguing for.

GoblinGranny Fri 24-May-13 20:39:33

How old are the children?
How co-operative will your ex be in considering the children's needs?

Shybairns Fri 24-May-13 20:37:23

I am going for Spousal maintenance as I will have to retrain to join the work force. And the kids quality of life would suffer without it.

Shybairns Fri 24-May-13 20:35:17

Bump for the evening crowd

PatriciaHolm Fri 24-May-13 15:55:07

Realistically, if he's paying the CSA required amounts, you would be relying on his good nature to stump up any more. Not very equitable, but there is no law to make him pay the costs I'm afraid.

Lonecatwithkitten Fri 24-May-13 15:16:08

It is up for negotiation. Have you agreed finances yet?
For example in our split of finances I pay school fees ExH does salary sacrifice to pay for before and after school and holidays. So no set rules.

Shybairns Fri 24-May-13 13:49:41

I have been at home with my kids since the first DC was born.

I'm now getting divorced and want to work again.

If I was to get a full time 9-5 office job who is responsible for paying for the cost of before and after school care and holiday clubs? Will it be something that both parents pay for, as we would both be at work and unable to look after DCs? Or is it down to me to pay on the days when they are in my care?

If so then it will not be worth my while to work. sad I will be penilised because I have them the most. I want them the most but I have the smaller budget and earning capacity. Ex earns a mint and wouldn't have to fork out for the care? Not fair?

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