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Should a seperation agreement include times to collect/drop off dcs?

(2 Posts)
browniebear Tue 27-Sep-11 14:41:17

DH an I seperated at the begining of August. No major arguments since only when it comes to dropping off or collecting the DCs

We've come up with Wednesday evenings they go for tea and at the weekends they go to sleepover alternate Friday/Saturday nights so DD(6) still has the option to sleep at grans(his mum) on the saturday nights shes not at his,(as she has done since being a baby).

He still hasn't paid any maintenence so far but im assured some is coming my way before the end of the week.

My point is that on nearly every time he has had the DCs they have been picked up late (up to 2 hours) after he said he was coming or he has rung at the pre arranged time and asked if i could pick them up as he is out and has no car to bring them back.

Whenever we discuss times to collect or drop off he just says something similar to "I'll let you know what's happening" but I want something more concrete than this so I can at least go out and know im not going to be needed to drop everything and go get them.

We both drive but neither have a car so we each rely on borrowing a family members( not particularly difficult for either of us) or he sometimes has a car/van from work.

If we were to get something legal such as a seperation agreement should it contain who and when will be responsible for getting the DCs to the other parent and times? As well as money issues?

PooleFamilyLaw Tue 27-Sep-11 20:16:46

Hi browniebear

A separation agreement concerning children (or as now more commonly know a "Parenting Agreement") can be as detailed (or not detailed) as you feel it needs to be. there is no set rule.

From my experience as a specialist family lawyer, some couples are fine with a very basic framework as they prefer the flexibility, but others need every single detail set down so as to avoid arguements if they cannot work together well for their child(ren)'s benefit.

You say "I want something more concrete", whereas your ex appears to prefer a more flexible approach.

Constructive child focused dialogue is key to reaching a balance between your respective wishes - a professional mediator or collaborative family lawyers can help with this by working with both of your together to reach an agreement. I recommend you look at

I hope this helps

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