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Divorce/separation

Too soon for new girlfriend?

4 replies

divorcedrama37 · 05/07/2011 13:07

Could really do with some thoughts on this from anyone in the same boat. My husband and I have been separated for 2 years however since Christmas have been spending a lot of time together and were talking about reconciling rather than divorce. However, in the last three weeks he has met someone and os already referring to her as his girlfriend. He has our two sons one night a week and my kids told me she had stayed over on that night which I am really shocked about. Firstly, we never talked about actually seeing other people which I am trying to deal with the best way I can, that it is over and I have proceeded with divorce as a result, but secondly, we always said if we met new people we would wait to see if serious before the kids introduced. I think its selfish as only known her two mins? And he has them one night a week, is it too much to ask for a little focus on them rather than her on that night? My eldest is 11 and he says doesnt want to stay there while she is there, he is accusing me of using kids to hurt him!! Aaarrgghh!! Any thoughts guys?

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Sowlers · 05/07/2011 16:25

I'm a Mum but also a child of divorced parents. My Dad refused to see us without dragging the new woman along and ultimately it was the end of my relationship with him. I needed his time and attention to be on me the little I saw of him so I say for your kids sake he should keep them separate for now, as you say it's only one night a week. I hope it all works out for you all.

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divorcedrama37 · 07/07/2011 12:51

Thanks Sowlers, my thoughts exactly, I really want them to have a relationship with him and nothing against the girl but want him to put the kids feelings before his own needs for a change, as its only one night a week I didnt think I was being unfair. . .

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Sowlers · 07/07/2011 16:14

I feel for you it's a minefield! All I can say is do right by your children ( which I'm sure you would anyway) put them first and their feelings first, never criticise him in front of them or use them to pass messages. If your ex could find the strength to do this too then hopefully they will always have both parents in their lives. All the best x

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divorcedrama37 · 08/07/2011 15:01

Thanks and yes I always try to adhere to that, so temptong to criticise him in front of them but I realise its not fair to them! And after a chat with him this week, he has agreed was too soon and says will not have her on thier overnights stays for now! We will see how it progresses x