I'm 45 and have been in relationship for 3 years with a lovely man who's 6 years younger than me. I've been married twice to much older men and have 3 kids (22, 18 and 15). Everything is amicable with my exs. Exdp already has a 5 year-old from a previous marriage and when he fell in love with me he thought he would be content with just one as he felt he'd found the woman of his dreams.
Several times during our relationship, though, he's suddenly had an overwhelming urge to run away and find someone in their early 30s so he could 'start again' with his dream of a conventional family.
We tried for our own baby but have had 2 miscarriages and after the last one (4 months ago) it was a watershed moment. He said last weekend that it made him look at me as if I was much older - a different generation - and although he'd never find anyone he loved so much, he wanted to separate so that he could start again.
I desperately need to 'move on' because it's so hurtful. To help me do so, I really really need to hear from people with similar/any experiences. All I can think of is looking in the mirror and counting the wrinkles until I die. I've booked a summer holiday in Greece on a creative writing course, so that's something to look forward to. But my dreams of a little family with dp, my youngest and his little girl have been dashed (yes, we could have tried donor eggs, but he's got his mind set on a simpler life)
I can't see the future - and I can't imagine finding anyone who I got on with so well. My self-esteem is also rock bottom. I can 'hear' I'm attractive and look younger than 45 but I want to feel comfortable BEING 45 and I just don't anymore. Help?
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Divorce/separation
Dumped because I can't have children
16 replies
lolfactor · 28/05/2011 08:28
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