Dementia: are we nearly there yet?

[ChristmasLightLover]

I am tired. So tired. And we're only just starting this shitty awful fucking never ending journey of shitness. I am so fucking tired. My brain can't cope with all I need to think of - and remember to say - and not say - about my Dad's illness.

How do I come to terms with this? How do I find peace in it? When do we - or rather I start the lead - on Dad going into a dementia care home? Why is getting benefits so fucking difficult. God. I am so tired and we're only just starting. Admittedly, we're really late in getting in him assessed - we thought he was displaying attention seeking behaviours as he seemed to go in and out of them quite frequently. That reads so badly, like I'm the worst daughter in the world.

I don't drink, I don't smoke, I can only swear when the DS x 2 are in bed. This is just so shit. I don't know where to start. It's all so overwhelming. Am off to scour the miracle of Mumsnet to see what I can learn.

Apologies for shitty post. I really am sober, even though this reads like I've been in a pub all day!

[tinkerella1]

Yep its a total shit of a disease. I don't think you ever really come to terms with it. It's just a case of learning to work the Kafkaesque system of social care and the mind bending Mental Capacity Act.
That one is a great little get out clause for the social services to trot out every time a bonkers decision is made by someone with Dementia.
Even if he's at the Care home he may still have capacity to say "No I don't want to go into a care home" So get yourself a little familiar with the act before you start having quoted back at you by social services - and you'll definitely need to be sober for reading through it.....

Finally - you're not the worst daughter in the world! Its pretty normal to be annoyed with the whole crazy shit deal that is Dementia.

[ChristmasLightLover]

Thank you for taking time to reply tinkerella . Much appreciated! I'm now coming to terms with more of this. I have ended up at my mum and dad's house for a week now, he's been in hospital, home Tuesday PM, discussing sectioning him Wednesday PM and today, we've moved onto emergency day care five days a week as respite because my mum truly cannot cope.

It never ends - I now need to find out more about money and how, although we are too late to avoid paying for the care, we can claim as much as we can. I am scouring Mumsnet boards for insight - it's so confusing to read all the contradictory info that's online but I feel I am safe here on my beloved Mumsnet! I'm usually a lurker but on this topic, I have to be out and up and at 'em, to work out what we can do to help my Mum and Dad with this.