My dads got pneumonia and late stage dementia and I just need to hear some experiences and maybe a wee hand hold please

[Kenworthington]

What's thelkkely prognosis? I think I know that he's hnlikely to pull through this. Care home have been lovely. He's on antibiotics. But he looks ghastly, has a terrible rattle to his breath - which could be the infection?? He's a bit more colour in his cheeks today I think and they said his temperature has dropped off. Sleeping all the time and slightly trembly. He just looks so skinny and frail😢 last weds he was all perky and chatty and laughing. By thurs lunchtime he was in bed. Fri my mum was called to say he had a chest infection and that the gp had prescribed antibiotics. Today I visited again and spoke to the nurse in charge and she said its pneumonia and they didn't want my mum to worry he has late stage alzheimers and vasvular dementia. His warfarin was stopped a while ago. I don't know if this will impact in any way. I've called the gp for prognosis but he isn't available to speak to me now til fri mornjng. I just don't know whether this could be the end or not? And I feel terrible for hoping either way. Seeing him on weds enjoying life and being happy, but then again I'm alsways thinking why would I want to prolong his suffering you know. I don't know whether my mum is aware how poorly he is (she keeps saying 'I hope it doesn't turn into pneumonia' and it already bloody IS pneumonia. Also her mum died from it so I know she'd be terrified. Also I just want to be prepared. Mentally. I don't want to be shocked by a sudden unexpected phone call tellin. Me to go and say goodbye (or Worse that I've missed it). I also don't know what to do about telling the dc. Anyway sorry for the rambling of this. Just wanted to get it out and see if anyone might have any experience.

[Blogwoman]

for you - very hard to see your dad like this & you are also thinking about your mum & dc while dealing with your own grief. My dad declined over 3 months before he died & had dementia then; totally understand your mixed feelings - don't be hard on yourself. In terms of telling your dc, you don't say how old they are but be honest. Mine were 7 & 9 at the time & overheard phone conversations between us & relatives in his last 48 hours. We explained that he might die, but that it was ok as he was very old and very poorly etc Children are so accepting & being honest with helps them a lot I think. They also need to understand that you're sad & why. Hope you get some sleep tonight.