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Chaps - please tell me your thoughts on bringing up other men's children

(3 Posts)
flightattendant Sun 26-Aug-07 19:20:43

Years ago when I was with (on/off) Ds1's dad, there was this guy. He really fancied me and used to take me out on rides etc (both into motorbikes) and generally try to ge me to date him. He was great but I loved Ds's dad and was always clear we could only be mates. Eventually he gave up around the time I had Ds1. (He had once said he wished baby was his, how lovely)
Anyway a couple of years passed, he'd till be complimentary etc and maybe flirt a bit when we met? But was seeing someone else who lives miles away, visting weekends etc. He's still with her, afaik.
I started seeing a bloke he used to work with, whom I met through him...they weren't close friends and always slagged each other off etc. but still, colleagues.
He would ask if it was serious, tell me I looked nice etc. and complain about his girlfriend. I started to realise the other bloke was indeed a tw*t, but managed foolishly to get pregnant, at the same time realising I was falling in love with the guy who used to like me.
I wished this time that the baby was his - I left its dad and thought about the first guy a lot. I eventually told him I was in love with him, he smiled, kissed me 'goodbye' and a few weeks later I had the baby, resigned to never seeing him again.
Saw him the other day. He stopped, spoke to me and Ds1, was lovely...initiated a kiss (on cheek, but he seemed to be aiming for central area and I had to respectfully swerve, iyswim/) ..he always used to do this.
Once at start of conversation, once at end.
Keep wishing I hadn't dodged, but never sure if he means it to be a kiss, Oh I don't know....
anyway I was walking on air, I bloody love him, but what does he want? I'd gladly have his babies if he wanted, but already have 2 in tow and how can I ask him to take them on too? (this is all hypothetical as he still has this long distance thing going on, I think??)

Guys please translate this behaviour. Why does he always flirt with me, look at my breasts, tell me I look good...
I know he's wonderful, we did things like fix bikes together, helped him put up guttering, Oh it was bliss...why did I have to be in love with some dipstick when I had my chance? Have I f~*cked up completely?

Daddster Tue 28-Aug-07 13:36:30

Gosh - bad luck.

I know a (male) friend who wants to avoid the whole nappy etc. stage of fatherhood but who has dated women with children (one for over a year) and I am sure would make a great father. Why not invite him on a day out with the kids to see how they all get on? You might get a moment to use the context of the kids playing to ask how he sees his future.

Or alternatively, buy a copy of Full Throttle and let them play it together on the computer!

flightattendant Tue 28-Aug-07 16:19:30

At last! A reply! Aren't you sweet to answer smile
Thankyou Daddster. Yes, I can see why the nappies and midnight feeding bit is good to avoid...we don't see him that often, mainly by chance when he's on a test ride round town (works at bike shop/workshop) and he does wave and often stops. He always used to ask if I was still single etc. but I daren't ask if he still has a girlfriend. Just wishing and hoping, he knows how I feel and tbh I did put him through similar agony years ago, so fair enough!
He's great with my boy, really kind and patient, you can tell he'd be a smashing dad...
Game looks great! wink I might get it for me and ds...
so it's not a definite 'run a mile' situation then re the kids? I have hope! Praise the lord!

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