A lot of the posts on here about being smacked by their parents seem to say "it was mostly my mum when she got stressed/angry with us" but less so dads. My supposition is that that is because dads in the 1970s/1980s generally didn't have the stress of the morning school run or the pick-up and the childcare inbetween and dads were more (emotionally and geographically) distant from the situation so less likely to see it as their job to deal with any of it or get emotionally involved.
I'm anti-smacking and I never even used to shout at DCs when they were younger, but latterly have occasionally smacked (clothed bum, open hand only) where the tween DCs are hitting/kicking/scratching/biting each other, they're ignoring me and I've been tired/angry, under time stress because those lovely staff at the school lock the gate at 9am sharp, holding the baby (literally) or haven't had the wherewithal to take a step back and come up with a more creative solution. I hate it when I do it - it's utterly absurd to punish someone for hitting by hitting them - I always talk it through with DCs afterwards and explain how it is wrong and really try hard afterwards to learn lessons about preventing the flashpoints arising and reprise the whole constructive discipline thing.
BUT, I wonder if any other dads have had this experience when they've become more involved in childcare and have developed a strategy to discpline more effectively. (N.B. We live like caged rats in an upper floor flat which is part of the problem, so the whole ruralite "let them play out in the garden" or "go outside and cool down" strategy doesn't work for us).
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.
Dadsnet
Smacking and modern dads
13 replies
UrbanDad · 09/05/2014 12:02
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.