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advice on this situation please

(4 Posts)
neo1982 Wed 03-Aug-11 19:13:35

hi there

thanks in advance for any input

heres the situation ....

myself and my ex split up officially 2 year ago and i moved out (the RL was dead long before but we stayed together for the sake of the bairn)

anyway i am an active dad and have her 40% of the time ... so i do my bit and pay my way totally (so this isnt the question so please dont post anything about that )

i have a new partner ..... we are in the inital stages of discussing contact (its been 8 months that we have been together and i want to start slowly introducing with new girlfriend meeting my pride and joy)

my ex wants to meet her first.. totally understand that as id want to meet any potential male influences on my child when the ex meets someone so thats cool

m ex is a control freak and wants to hurt me by holding up the inevitable .... any thoughts ?

KangarooCaught Wed 03-Aug-11 19:23:48

My advice, fwiw: Tell the ex the gf is not going to be mum to the child, dd's got two parents, will just another adult present in her life

Any advice or pointers about how she'd do it,you'd happily take (nod, thank her)

Get her on board, make her see gf is no threat.

mrsravelstein Wed 03-Aug-11 19:28:44

exh and i split when ds1 was 3. ds1 met several of his gfs and several of my bfs along the way, we both just let it happen naturally when it happened, didn't make a big deal out of it. then when things got serious with my dh and with exh's dw, we inevitably ended up meeting, but again it was all done very casually which personally i think is the way to go... so for instance, one time i picked ds1 up and dh was in the car so said hello. something similar for the first time i met exh's dw. i am pretty control freaky myself, but it's not up to me who exh introduces ds1 to, and not up to him who i introduce ds1 to. i hope that makes sense!

neo1982 Wed 03-Aug-11 19:37:40

never thought about putting the ball back in her court .... top advice .. thanks

and mrs ravelstein .. perfect sense ...... wish my ex was cool like yourself ..... as i am the ex i am the antichrist with her lol ......

however i think she will thaw in time like the above poster says when she sees her as no threat and actually see's that i am happy and able to offer a better parental role wth said happiness

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