Does IP will disappear or will keep in touch after birth?

[bettygary]

1. Hi, I would like to share that I am 25 and a surrogate into the third month of pregnancy. My IP are very nice people and whenever I am in need of help they are there, not just because I am pregnant with their baby but I have 2 kids of my own, they help them too. Recently my son was not well and had to be hospitalised and I too not feeling that well due to pregnancy could not take care of him much so my IPs were there to take care of him. They even paid all the hospital bills and medicine for him, they do a lot for me and my kids. They have also promised that they will keep in touch with me after birth of the baby. I really don’t know because one of my friends, already a surrogate mother has had a different experience. The IP simply disappeared after the baby was handed over. I am feeling depressed from now own and really don’t know will they keep the promise as the IP of my friend also promised but disappeared. She is undergoing a therapy now to overcome the depression and I don’t want to go through such situation. If anyone having same experience then please share. Thoughts of others are appreciated please!

[natashawilliams55]

2. Please do not get emotional on this issue. It is a common problem with surrogate mothers but remember you have to respect what they want. The issue of the relationship with surrogate is a complex one for many parents. There are some who would want to keep in touch with surrogate and see them as a part of family while others prefer not to stay in touch. I totally get what you are thinking but it is their baby and their family and they might not want to keep contact later. It is advisable that you brace yourself for this eventuality from now on and don’t feel depressed. Also, by what you said that they do a lot for you and your family there is no point thinking that they will not keep in touch, by your words it seems as they love your kids and will keep in touch forever. You should not think much about these things and as I said that if they wish to not keep in touch, then you need to be prepared and the same doesn’t happen with everyone. So, just enjoy your journey and this time.

[blancaharper]

3. I have a couple of friends who have been surrogate mothers and both of them have had the same experience as you. The IPs had promised to “keep in touch” but had “simply disappeared” (as you say) after the baby had been delivered. There can be many reasons for this. As the person above said that it’s their baby and their family, and it is up to IPs to keep in touch or not after the birth of the baby. I think that IPs say so because they feel that’s what surrogate mothers want to hear. Or maybe the relationship soured at some stage and they were waiting for the baby to arrive before cutting off all ties. Also IP have several concerns before, during and after they have a baby through surrogacy. Some, but not all, have a great relationship with their surrogate and worry how she is going to react once the baby is born. Not all relationships between the IPs and surrogate will be amazing, sometimes there is never that connection, other times, it might be extraordinary when you are pregnant, but once you’ve given birth, not so much. In my opinion, you never really know how it’s going to go. You write it on your profile and discuss it during the match meeting in the hope that everyone is being honest.

[Pannnn]

Wrong sort of cycling section. This is for two wheels. Ask for this to be moved?