Looking for a particular poem - help!

[LooseAtTheSeams]

Not being able to remember the name of this poem is driving me mad.
There's a poem by a modern American poet (can't remember his name) with a title that I think is a Spanish sounding place name. The poem itself really plays around with the idea of gender so all the references to father, mother, son, daughter, are ambiguous and interrelated. It's actually quite well known but I just can't remember enough of it to search for it! The reason I'm trying to remember is that I might use it in a poetry seminar with Access to literature students.
If anyone can work out what it might be from my woefully unhelpful description, I'd be very grateful!

[EdithWeston]

Did you find it?

There's a website called poemhunter which might help you, if you can remember a few key words or phrases

[timeisnotaline]

No idea but I really hope you’ve found it!

[Rebecca36]

You might find it here:
www.poets.org/poetsorg/poems?field_occasion_tid=All&field_poem_themes_tid=1061&field_form_tid=All&title=&field_first_name_value=&field_last_name_value=&body_value=&page=4