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in a pickle

(25 Posts)
bibby33 Tue 03-Nov-15 11:55:02

Please help -
I'm in such a pickle , I have 3 children 12,8 and 9 months old.
The baby's dad left when pregnant so on my own - my mat leave has ended and for very complicated reasons I won't go into my hours have been cut so am currently on income support whilst doing a 3.5 hours a week in my old job just to keep my hand in until circumstances change .

Her Dad has decided he is not going to pay child support anymore (I'm going through matienance agency but could take months) my eldest 2's Dad also doesn't help Me out despite promises etc.
The reason I'm telling you that is that it was money I had been getting so had unfortunately become reliant on it which I never should of done.
Anyhow one lives to ones means and when I was working I could afford to be more frivolous etc so I have a loan for my car and I'd booked a holiday next year for me and the children(our first one abroad ever )
I've tried to cancel it as I have 1850.00 left to pay and I just don't think it's going to happen, however they have said I only paid a small deposit so I need to pay another £300. I said I just don't have it (and I don't I have 0 in my bank as all my benefits have not been sorted yet)

I've worked out to pay for the holiday I need to put away £67 a week !.
After bills and food and petrol (if I cut back to 40 a week for food ) I'll have £130 "disposable income " a week left -which is to clothe and pay for any of children's activities days out etc -plus baby needs a cot , stair gates as she is crawling , new clothes as she has got so big the list is endless .

I just don't know what to do ? This is all of my own making I've spent too much and I should of had some savings being me but I have nothing but a massive loan and this bloody holiday I wish I'd never booked.

Think I just want some help to budget properly and how to make money stretch further and also people's opinion on what they would do about this blasted holiday !

The children have said they are not upset if it's cancelled but what do I do about this extra money the holiday company wants!
Thanks in advance . I'm so stressed I've been on phone all morning trying to sort it all out .

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Tue 03-Nov-15 11:58:10

Sounds like you need a solicitor. These `men` need to take some responsibility.

bibby33 Tue 03-Nov-15 12:03:34

I'm trying everything the eldest two's dad floats under the radar if you know what I mean and they can't ever catch him .
He made some promises yesterday as he knows he is being unfair to not just me but the children but he seems to not be able to follow through with any promises. As for the baby's Dad I am at a loss and very very shocked he has done this to us , I've been on the phone for ages to maintenance agency . I can't afford a solicitor and legal aid Is no longer available .

angemorange Tue 03-Nov-15 12:42:57

Could you get some free advice from Citizens Advice Bureau? They may be able to help with the holiday company, and give you some advice re benefits etc you may be entitled to.

Your local social security office might be able to help as well, especially in terms of Child Maintenance.

bibby33 Tue 03-Nov-15 13:03:09

Yes I'm going to advice bureau surely holiday company can't do that can they ?My money should be through soon regarding benefits it just takes a while too sort out. I've cancelled a few direct debit that I can do without. I've sent the baby's dad a text asking him to not be so harsh , he will get his girlfriend to reply telling me to piss off like he normally does.
Lesson learned I'm going to stop spending needlessly and try and put a bit by from now on. Also never rely on a man for money!

Eva50 Tue 03-Nov-15 13:39:51

I agree with making an appointment with Citizens Advice. Hopefully they can help with the holiday company. After all if you have paid a deposit then that is all you should lose.

Try Freecycle, Gumtree and Facebook selling pages for a cot (and other needed baby equipment) or do you have any friends who may be finished with one. You would just need to get a new mattress. The children's clothes thread on here would be worth a read. Someone may still have some things the right size or you could post asking for what you need. Do your older children get free school meals? Soup and sandwiches, jacket potato and beans, pasta bake or dare I say it egg and chips with fruit to follow make great cheap teas.

Imperialleather2 Tue 03-Nov-15 14:39:17

I think you might need some advice re the holiday as it may well be an unfair contractual term they are trying to rely on in which case it is unenforceable. Try and get an appointment at the cab.

The maintenance situation is despicable and ypu should follow every Avenue to pursue them.

It seems as though if you can get out of the holiday you will be OK money wise once your benefits Come through?

QforCucumber Tue 03-Nov-15 14:51:05

Holiday wise do you already have insurance in place for it? e.g. paid for as part of the booking?

We have annual travel insurance through our bank, and when DP lost his job they covered the costs of a trip to Paris which we had booked, they just asked for a letter from his employer confirming loss of employment.

£130 a week after all bills, food and fuel should definitely see you through, that's almost £20 a day but I definitely agree with getting legal advise in relation to the 2 fathers, they don't get to just disappear.

Fannyupcrutch Tue 03-Nov-15 15:18:54

Are you absolutely sure that you will have £10 a WEEK spare after bills/rent etc? that seems an awful lot left over. How have you worked that out? have you looked into what benefit rates you will be entitled too etc?

Fannyupcrutch Tue 03-Nov-15 15:19:27

That should say £130 a week. been a long day!

bibby33 Tue 03-Nov-15 17:18:00

I've done all my sums and double checked it comes out at 130 pound which I thought seemed a fair bit tbh.(I get 20 a week from work so they deducted the 4 odd pound from income support)so that has added to it. I forgot I will be paying some council tax out of the 130 a week and I may have to pay some rent -that's not.been finalised . Also it will only be that if I stick to my food budget of 40 a week and 10 pound a week petrol (I've done a separate budget for nappies and babies milk etc)
I've been spending around 90 a week on food so that is going to be hard to adjust too.
children have had their free school meals come through though .
So I don't know maybe it will be more like £100?
This isn't long term only couple of years and I'm going to full time college next year. I just need to adjust as been used to a larger income .
All this is my own fault I should of saved more but it was nice to be able to spoil my children and afford things without worry after years of being poor . Back to square one !
Lesson learned .
Also I heard from the baby's dad and he said child support is only paid by fathers so the government don't have to pay benefits

bibby33 Tue 03-Nov-15 17:26:24

Thank you for other advice lots of good ideas , I'm going to sell my baby equipment too !

bibby33 Tue 03-Nov-15 17:29:40

Oh And I know 130 is still a lot I just need to adjust as had triple that when working . I now it's not bad I just wanted some advice to budget better smile

RandomMess Tue 03-Nov-15 17:33:38

Nope child maintenance does not get deducted from benefits anymore!

bibby33 Tue 03-Nov-15 17:45:45

No I didn't think it did when I was on income support years ago it was deducted . So I wouldn't get my money off him and I want getting my income support it was hard times . Think that's why when I started working again I got carried away with spending !

QforCucumber Tue 03-Nov-15 17:57:04

Child support is not calculated as income when calculating benefits - so he's definitely just trying to talk you into no claiming there.

bibby33 Tue 03-Nov-15 18:06:17

I feel I want to tell him to stuff his money now . When I've done my degree I'm hoping to have such a good job I can tell him to stuff it smile
The eldest twos Dad just dropped me some money round(first time in many months) so I can go food shopping tomorrow now. Time to write a meal plan !

antimatter Tue 03-Nov-15 18:17:47

Check any loyalty cards and electricity/gas bills for savings and overpayments.
Put those mony as an emergency fund.
You can also claim back single occupancy on council tax and there msy be an overpayment on your personal tax with the tax man.

Iamnotanugget Tue 03-Nov-15 21:54:22

Good budget is a great free app that I've found really useful to help with budgeting. Money saving expert has a huge list of everything you might possibly spend money on which will help you sort out your spending.

bibby33 Wed 04-Nov-15 08:29:25

I've downloaded that app so hopefully that will help. I won't have what I thought left over as will be paying more rent and council tax (just had the letter through) but it's fine if I budget properly.

swisscheesetony Wed 04-Nov-15 08:39:33

Holiday sounds bobbins. A deposit is a deposit, hence it can e lost. You can't take a deposit and then whine it wasn't big enough when the buyer backs out.

If you feel you've any strength at all, phone/email the holiday company and say you've been looking at your paperwork but you can't find anything about a 300 deposit for cancellation on too of the deposit, and as you're trying to sort out your finances, can they please send over a copy of the one you signed?

Terribly passive-aggressive I know, but IMO they're pulling a fast one.

Ignore any crap from them about court/bailiffs - UNLESS they are able to provide the aforementioned signed-by-you contract agreeing a further forfeit of 300. A judge will laugh at them.

bibby33 Wed 04-Nov-15 09:04:40

Wow I just rang holiday company up ..totally different story today . He said there wasn't an option to pay a low deposit when I booked so I don't have to pay any more. I think they were pulling a fast one!! Holiday is cancelled ..disappointing but hopefully one day I'll be in a better position to be able to book again . Relief is not an understatement !!

QforCucumber Wed 04-Nov-15 09:23:33

That's good news bibby

one less worry for now for you.

eastmidswarwicknightnanny Thu 05-Nov-15 11:58:22

Bibby that's good eventually you could cancel holiday n maybe you will be able to afford a cheap short caravan break at haven or the like once you have sorted finances.

Have a look on the clothes bank thread on here I am sure someone was offering some 12-18 girls clothes at some point and also some older children bits. I have some 6-9 + will have some 9-12 unisex/poss boyish bits in due course you are welcome to.

Look out for free activities bassets vitamins website at the moment is doing a voucher for free swim and free soft play can sign up for both so use 2 different email address n do both on each one n get both children in free for a swim somewhere and a soft play I think soft play are wacky warehouse.

mermaidinshoes Mon 09-Nov-15 20:38:28

Just on the legality of the holiday booking... When availing of a low deposit scheme you agree and sign a contract to pay the full deposit as that's what the company stands to lose to the tour op. So if you have your booking form you will be able to read this. If you have not signed a booking form then they will have difficulty chasing you for the payment

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