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Feeling rubbish, can I have a rant?

(12 Posts)
livingonaprayer1986 Sat 13-Dec-14 20:01:14

Hey everyone this is my first thread, wish it was a happier one! I'm so fed up of having no money and worrying about money. I am happily married with a 3 year old daughter. I work full time and my husband is self employed as a paramedic, sometimes he gets work other times he doesn't. I feel like I'm working my butt off for nothing. At the end of each month we have nothing left after paying bills, rent and grocery shopping. Sometimes (like this month) we dont even have enough money to pay our rent and I have to choose between paying bills/ eating or paying rent! Just so fed up and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am entitled to housing and council tax benefit and tax credits but the only benefit I recieve is child benefit. You probably think I'm stupid for not claiming anything else but it's more hassle than its worth and I was interviewed under caution for a genuine mistake a while back and although found innocent, the whole process put my stress levels through the roof and I cancelled everything on the spot, including benefits I wasnt investigated for! It Litrally leaves me feeling sick at the thought of claiming anything again. So hear I am, working my butt off for what feels like nothing.

Does anyone else feel like this? Sorry to moan just feel so down at the moment especially with Christmas coming up.

Idefix Sun 14-Dec-14 10:07:07

You need to seek support and reapply for the benefits that you are entitled to. It can be a bit of a minefield but there are organisations and govt websites that can help with this.
In your shoes I would also be having a frank conversation with dh about looking for a permanent job which may not pay so well but offer a regular income. Allowing you as a family to budget and plan more effectively.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but you clearly are feeling down about things and need to feel able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I hope things get better for you.

annielostit Sun 14-Dec-14 10:36:59

Firstly get a big cuppa. Forget what you've been asked about previously. If it were dodgy it would be on your DSS record.
Get your salary paper work together ring the council/dss to enquire about the housing benefit. Write it all down. Then phone the tax credit help line.
Its a pain in the arse but it has to be done.
Get your oh to do it, he's in on this too.
Big hug for your not good mood.x

ScrambledEggAndToast Sun 14-Dec-14 10:55:48

Is it a hassle claiming benefits because your DH isn't in regular employment? If so, he needs to try and get into regular employment so you can claim without worry, you may find yourselves better off.

livingonaprayer1986 Sun 14-Dec-14 22:32:43

Thanks everyone. Yes it's hassle an stress because my husband isn't in regular work. One month he will earn 800. Another month he'll earn 100. Another nothing and another 1200! Hes looking for a regular normal payed job which isn't what he specialises in (medical) but will put the bread on the table if you see what I mean. When I was investigated for housing benefit fraud it was one of the worst times in my life I was treated horribly and like a criminal and although in the end I proved I was innocent, there's no way I could go through something like that again if I was to accidentally overpaid again as even if their mistake you may still get interviewed. In my case it was under caution and was awful... anyway I feel a bit better because my work have offered more overtime today. I'm already doing 40 hours a week but it all helps hey. X

SoonToBeSix Tue 16-Dec-14 00:24:20

Op It must have been awful for you but you need to put your daughter first. If you are entitled to these benefits you need them to give her a good quality of life. It isn't fair on her to miss out because of a horrible experience.

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat Wed 17-Dec-14 11:03:25

Is there a reason that your DH is a self employed paramedic and can he get a full time permanent job with the NHS?

The wages aren't brilliant considering what the job entails, but it would be regular money coming in each month that can be relied on and would pay the basic bills.

livingonaprayer1986 Wed 17-Dec-14 12:36:54

Thanks everyone. My husband has got an interview for a full time job doing security next week so fingers crossed... in the meantime we should now JUST be ok with me doing the overtime. I have considered claiming benefits again but I cant bring myself to even get a claim form. Im not sure how much wed be entitled too when my husband starts work too, maybe nothing? Right now I'm in the bath with pound land candals and smart price apple juice in a wine glass (haha) chilling before work. I can hear hub and daughter playing in the lounge laughing, so glad she's only 3 and doesn't understand money yet!

paleviewofhills Wed 17-Dec-14 12:48:17

It's virtually impossible to budget with irregular hours and pay, as you know! Easier said than done perhaps but your dh really does need to look at getting a regular job. I assume if he's self-employed as a paramedic he does things like events/gigs etc - could he do these at the weekend as a top up, with a steadier income during the week (even if it's not-brilliant pay)? It would at least allow you to make some sort of budget.

I totally understand your unwillingness to reapply for benefits after your previous experience but you really are cutting off your nose to spite your face. Would it be worth going to the CAB to talk face to face to with someone about what you would be entitled to, perhaps they could put your mind at ease a little?

Sympathies though - this is the worst time of year when things are tight flowers

livingonaprayer1986 Wed 17-Dec-14 23:20:33

Thanks for the flowers :-) could go and have a chat with CAB I suppose and also tell them my fears. Maybe my mind would be put at rest.... x

starfish4 Fri 19-Dec-14 10:37:23

I appreciate you don't want to go through the stress of re-applying for benefits, but you're entitled to them. I know it can't be easy, but not being able to pay the bills is stressful and it could be that in a few months the stress will be greatly reduced. Do re-apply, if you're not sure about anything on the form phone them (perhaps DH can fill it in when he's not working and you can both doublecheck it before it goes off). Even if they check if you've applied before, they will have it on record that a mistake was made.

If you haven't already, do speak to your DH about this and how you're feeling (obviously making it clear your not blaming him). He's probably worried like you each month. It might help him as well, as I guess he feels he's letting his family down as he hasn't got a regular income. Work through this together.

anicesitdownandshutup Fri 19-Dec-14 22:31:00

Could you get your DH to do the applying? Sounds like the burden is on you and maybe he has more free time?

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