WWYD nursery changes for safety etc

[Cornishbelle]

Hi really in two minds here opinions needed please!

Dd 22 months has been at home since lockdown she normally attends private day nursery3 days and grandparents1 day a week. Me and Dh both wfh and Ds who's 8 also at home.

Ds is getting on fairly well at school and is struggling with lack of stimulation (and attention!) from school - me and Dh tag team shifts at work so always one around but obv dd demands a lot more supervision. DS has always been quite intense and I hate to say needy not one to play alone or self supervise. It's something we have tried to work on but lockdown has really highlighted this aspect of his personality.

The dilemma we're in is that nursery asked for confirmation end last week of if we would like dd to return 1st June and we said yes believing benefits would outweigh risk dd would benefit from being around kids her own age etc and we could help ds more.

They have emailed today playing out more details and amongst are that they want any comforters to be left at nursery, only one parent doing all the drop offs and pick ups and that she will be moving to a different room with different staff. I don't I know if any of the children she was with will be there it sounds like they are joining two rooms together which suggests to me that not many are going back yet.

If you read this far thank you! Not sure what they will say re fees etc if we pull out now but all the changes combined with drop.off at front door etc sounds very traumatic and not sure it's worth it. WWYD? Thanks in advance

[Jellycatspyjamas]

What part sounds very traumatic? I can see little ones struggling if they have a particular comforter or transition object but a new room and/or staff is something the nursery will be well equipped to support her with given they must transition children throughout their time at nursery.

I think you need to make a decision that suits your families needs but your little one isn’t going to be deeply traumatised by the changes you describe.

[NuffSaidSam]

It depends on your DD. I think those changes will be fine, for all but the most sensitive of children. I would give it a go and then make a decision. If it's awful you don't have to leave her/send her again, but you might as well try, chances are she'll be fine.

[ShyTown]

I’d be completely fine with that and would send her back. If she gets on ok then it’ll be easier for you with work and you’ll be able to give your eldest more time. You’ll have to allow for a typical settling period as she’s been home for a while but none of what you’ve described sounds at all traumatic. Presumably once they give the option to go back you’ll have to pay the fees to hold her place so you may as well give it a go.

[Streamingbannersofdawn]

When they said one parent doing all the drop offs and pick ups I think they mean one at a time not like a designated parent. So you wouldn't be able to go together.

[Bol87]

We’ve totally lost perspective on the word traumatic. Traumatic is a child being abused, neglected, not fed, made to feel extremely frightened from violence or a horrific situation. NOT being picked up from a different location by one parent instead of two or being cared for in a different room at nursery! Could it make a child feel anxious, yes. Could it make them upset, yes. But it won’t traumatise them!

I personally can’t see what’s bad about what you’ve written but you know your child. Is it a problem that only one of you can collect your child? I always do the nursery runs as my OH works later then I do. As for moving rooms, well, that happens as they move through nursery. This is just earlier than perhaps planned for your child. My DD had just moved up to pre-school when they shut & it was entirely new adults & children obviously. She only did one week, so it’s going to be pretty new for her going back! But I’m still sending her as I would have done 10 weeks ago. They adjust over a few weeks & become comfortable with their new rooms, staff & friends!

But obviously, things will be a bit different than usual so if you think your child will struggle.. I think a lot of children will find it quite hard going back after 10 weeks. I’m expecting a lot of tears. But it’s in her best interests, she’s not got a sibling old enough to play with (baby sis is 10 weeks) & is struggling with sleep, behaviour, anxiety etc the longer she’s being isolated from socialising! After a couple weeks, it’ll be normal routine for her again

But your decision. You know your child, your circumstances & your opinion on the whole thing. Is for no-one to judge or decide but you!

[Anotherchangeanothername]

It’s down to the child but none of this would phase my nursery she’s daughter who is going back next week.

[Cornishbelle]

Thanks for the responses, I probably shouldn't have used the word traumatic that was too dramatic. And I wrongly thought only one parent full stop not just at a time oops!! Lol

[bombaychef]

If it was me I'd be sending them back ASAP