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Impact on teenagers

(13 Posts)
beachdays123 Fri 22-May-20 12:28:05

I’m really worried about the impact of this on teenagers and their mental health, they’re not designed to be cooped up with family like this. DS (17) is really struggling without his girlfriend, getting on well with remote learning from college but really struggling with the thought of going a whole summer without being able to catch up with friends properly and recharge ready for a hard year taking A Levels next year. I really feel for him, anyone else in the same position. This isn’t to mention the future impact even, such as uni applications which he’s decided to just ignore for this year while no open days etc. sad

Weepinggreenwillow Fri 22-May-20 13:40:35

I think this is really hard for teenagers and young people, despite all the zealots that will be along to tell us that they have got it easy, lounging around playing their xboxes all day hmm
I have got teenagers. One has had A levels cancelled, one had GCSEs cancelled. Plus 2 student home from uni. All left in limbo not knowing what happens next in their lives. All cooped up at home with no where to go and not seeing friends. Their lives ground to a complete stop overnight and there seems to be no end in sight for them, no clear plans, no idea how or when their lives will ever resume. Mine are all just about coping thankfilully but I do imagine this will massive implications for a lot of young people's mental health.

nitgel Fri 22-May-20 13:42:01

mine never go out anyway so there's not much change there

HorsesDoovers Fri 22-May-20 13:54:50

I've been worried about my 16yr old DS. He isn't confident enough to get in touch with his larger group of mates he used to go out biking with, he has anxiety and overthinks everything. His world has shrunk down to gaming, solitary bike rides and a tiny bit of work when I can get him to do it. Its so cruel, he was just beginning to blossom socially and that's all been taken away from him. Also that dreadful limbo of no GCSEs so nothing to really aim for, and no information about whether he'll go to College to do his A levels in September.
I know its hard for every age group but this is definitely rubbish for teenagers.

Weepinggreenwillow Fri 22-May-20 14:07:26

horses it is a terrible limbo for this year group. My dd was about to do GCSEs she has applications in for 3 different sixth forms but we can't get confirmation of their subject offers etc or even what courses they will be running so she has no idea where she will end up in September. Additionally she has ASD so having all this uncertainty hanging over her is really bad for her mental health. She's doing really well all things considered but not sure for how much longer before the cracks start appearing sad

Catsmother1 Fri 22-May-20 18:37:24

My daughter (18) really misses her boyfriend. She sees him most days now for a couple of hours, 2m apart at the local field. But she really just wants to be able to hug him again. She’s a rule follower, so won’t break them. But she’s suffered from anxiety for two years now, and this isn’t helping sad

sophiestew Fri 22-May-20 19:01:50

Can he not meet up with his friends and stay 2m apart? That is what mine have started doing.

Before that they had each other I guess. Luckily they get on like a house on fire.

beachdays123 Fri 22-May-20 19:17:08

@Catsmother1
Yes, DS and his gf have decided for now not to meet as they feel the 2m separation would make it worse which I do understand - he just thinks it would be unnatural. I really feel for anyone in this situation really, not just teenagers - how long can the government expect couples to stay apart??

beachdays123 Fri 22-May-20 19:19:02

@sophiestew I think they were looking forward to more of a group meet up, whereas you can only meet one person at the moment and his little group have never really met one on one. To his credit he wants to follow the guidelines but just can’t see an end

Musicalmistress Fri 22-May-20 19:21:52

13 year old DD is the opposite - her mental health is unbelievably better not having to battle her anxiety to get to school every day. She's able to engage with school work with out the wahoos in her class disrupting things & is in contact with her few close friends. She's even surprised us all by joining the Zoom meeting for her drama club - she would've been far to anxious to do something like that before.
I guess it will be different experiences for them all.

Catsmother1 Fri 22-May-20 22:58:06

@beachdays123 My daughter was hesitant about meeting up for the same reasons, but mentally she is a little better for seeing her bf. But it upsets her to see groups of teens not social distancing, and some couples she knows, together holding hands.
There must be lots of older adults in the same position. They can’t expect them to stay apart forever. Plus she’s in y13, so this was supposed to be her fun summer sad Fingers crossed they start the household bubble thing soon..

Punxsutawney Fri 22-May-20 23:12:30

Weeping ds is also autistic, he's applied for two sixth forms and we have no idea what is happening. If there are no induction days the transition is going to be difficult. He's already said he doesn't want to go back.

He had been relatively calm without the anxiety and demands of school and he's always been isolated anyway. But he's struggling this week, anxious again and plenty of sensory overload.

BackforGood Fri 22-May-20 23:26:47

I think it is difficult to generalise and it depends on their personality and the circumstances you are living in.

dh and I have said over and over that we are glad ours are older, and we would probably have gone under with younger dc.
There's someone I know who had a baby the week before we were all shut down, and it made me think how difficult that must be without any family or friends able to come over and visit - more so for first time parents.

Then I think of all the older folk who were told to stay home and have not been able to see family, nor all their friends at all the things they normally go to. they sit in isolation in their homes without all the different ways of communicating that our teens have. My 18 yr old is constantly talking to someone or other on a variety of different platforms. They've have virtual parties, quizzes, chats. they do a work out together. She goes out for bike rides. She walked 10K a day to raise money for cancer research in April. etc etc etc. Not many of our 75+ yr old friends are able to do all that.

I know it's not a race to the bottom, or a competition, but I don't think generally our teens are the worst of group.

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