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Does anyone feel like precious time is being wasted?

(32 Posts)
Thewheelsonthebus23 Mon 11-May-20 22:46:37

I know people are dying of coronavirus and more people sadly will.
But I keep feeling as though we’re wasting so much precious time with our loved ones, particularly parents and grandparents.
I know this isn’t forever (although it feels like it at the moment).
I guess this has come from my DH losing both his cousin and uncle in one month (not coronavirus related, his cousin was suspected suicide and then his father had a huge cardiac arrest, possibly caused by the stress) we then discovered yesterday that my FIL had been taken to hospital with chest pains and a suspected heart attack. He’s fine and is back home now, but its really hit home how anyone can die of anything at any time. I know the reasons we are staying in and not seeing family, but I’m so sad about time passing and my DS growing up and then missing so much.
They live 4 hours drive away, so no chance of popping over for a walk or a wave.

OP’s posts: |
Thewheelsonthebus23 Mon 11-May-20 23:13:31

Sorry I hope my post hasn’t come across as selfish.

OP’s posts: |
GindependantWoman Mon 11-May-20 23:17:49

daffodilyou've been through a lot recently.

It's a hard one. I see your point but if we mix it may mean that they are lost before their time.

Better to be six feet apart than six feet under.

I think the phone is enough in these times but am starting to see I'm the exception.

TP67 Mon 11-May-20 23:27:26

I agree.

purpleme12 Mon 11-May-20 23:33:48

Yes I feel like I'm losing time
I have no idea what's right in all of this I just know how I feel

purpleme12 Mon 11-May-20 23:35:35

I feel like everyone's posting rosy pictures on Facebook about how it's a precious gift they've been given, this time
And all I feel is stress as I can't give my child the attention I normally do and the focus and my child needed her old life to burn off energy and for us. So yes

cryinglightning Mon 11-May-20 23:36:13

Yes I'm with you. With each passing day I become more acutely aware of the time lost from my DDs' respective youths, with my elderly parents etc - it's heartbreaking. I understand the necessity of social distancing but it's still heartbreaking.

Daffodil101 Mon 11-May-20 23:36:43

Feels like I’m having a year of my life stolen tbh

purpleme12 Mon 11-May-20 23:51:35

I had a good life. I loved focusing on my child (work was at the office unlike now where it's all blurred into home) taking her out, in right frame of mind to deal with right for her needs. I gave her a good life. I live with just her so my socialisation was at work and at school. I feel like hers and mine have gone to shit

SinisterBumFacedCat Mon 11-May-20 23:52:04

Not really. Probably because I had a similar time last year, lost someone very close to suicide, it turned mine and my family’s life upside down and left me with a lot of responsibility sorting out everyone else. These last few weeks have been the first excuse I’ve had to stop because some things just ground to a halt. It’s actually given me time with my family at home. I feel like when everything gets back to normal (one day) I will have to jump back on the treadmill.

Nonotthatdr Tue 12-May-20 00:21:15

Yes, my grandad is only expected to live a year or so; now he’s shielding and we can’t see him, part of me definitely thinks what’s the point, he’s just spending his last year alive alone with just the carers coming in. He’s dying anyway......what harm can coronavirus do him, why is he being made to be alone?

Campervan69 Tue 12-May-20 00:23:07

Both the Grandparents my children have got left have expressed similar. Both of them feel like they might not have much time left to them and do not wish to spend that time incarcerated living away from friends and family.

purpleme12 Tue 12-May-20 00:23:20

Yes I see what you're saying. It's a miserable existence this to me

B1rdbra1n Tue 12-May-20 00:38:56

Indeed I do 😥
but is there an alternative

Waxonwaxoff0 Tue 12-May-20 05:35:47

Yes, I do. It's like Groundhog day right now.

Thisdressneedspockets Tue 12-May-20 08:12:59

Yes, this could be the last summer our older teenager wanted to spend with us, involved in family things. We had all sorts of plans which have all been cancelled.

catfeets Tue 12-May-20 08:29:12

@Nonotthatdr I haven't seen my gran since Xmas as I was ill after having my baby. She has the carers going in every day and my mum goes once a week (trying to stay away as her DH is on dialysis so is frequently in hospital and risks picking up a bug he could pass on).
There's no other family to help, the carers are stealing from her (wads of cash gone missing but we can't prove it as they aren't caught in the act and they also took all her toilet rolls hmm).

Why should she spend her last bit of time with people who don't like her and steal from her? She's had enough of life and in all honesty, would be happy to catch Coronavirus to end her suffering.

RhymingRabbit3 Tue 12-May-20 08:36:43

Yes I feel like months of my life have been stolen. My daughter is 3. I only have a finite number of years before she starts school and I can't spend as much time with her. I was so looking forward to taking her on days out, holidays and experiences this summer. Spent a fortune on annual passes for all the local fun things. Now I can't take her anywhere and I'm wasting the whole summer only being able to take her on walks round the block.

My younger child is 7 weeks old. She hasnt met her grandparents, great grandparents, uncles, cousins. My grandma is in hospital now (non covid) and its possible that she will never meet her great grandchild. I spoke to her on the phone and shes desperate to see them both.

I am honestly starting to feel like this is just surviving and putting our lives on hold. At least from Wednesday we can go to the beach or park or woods for a slightly more interesting day out.

Delatron Tue 12-May-20 08:41:33

Yep we are in danger of the ‘cure’ being worse than the disease....

Even for those in the over 70 age group. Who knows how much time they have left. Some of them would just be happy to take the risk with the virus rather than be cooped up for months and months

Children missing months of education and necessary social interaction. Suicide rates going up, calls to childline have gone up. Businesses are going bust and people are losing their livliehoods.

All for a virus with a very low death rate.

OccasionalNachos Tue 12-May-20 08:45:04

Yes. I know it’s petty but I am on maternity leave and 3 month old DS is changing so much, I am so sad my family can’t see him in person. I had such lovely ideas of maternity leave and it’s not at all what I planned!

purpleme12 Tue 12-May-20 08:45:34

Yes I'm also worried that when we can start living again my daughter won't want to do stuff with me. I worked hard to make her life brilliant and I loved doing it and now it's all gone.
It was how I was happy

Quillink Tue 12-May-20 08:47:16

Yes. One of my relatives is frail and lives a European flight away. I have lost a lot of sleep over it.

Bluesheep8 Tue 12-May-20 08:53:43

Yes. Totally. My father has late stage Parkinson's and dementia. He is in a care home and I haven't seen him for 2 months. I also haven't seen my Mum and Step Dad since Christmas. I feel as though I'm losing precious time with people precious to me every. Single. Day.

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking Tue 12-May-20 08:57:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crazybunnylady123 Tue 12-May-20 09:32:20

Promised my dd (3) a zoo trip just us together before dd2 is born. No chance of that now, feel so bad for her having to put up with her fat pregnant mummy. She misses her family like mad and when my second dd is born she can’t even see my mum. I feel so anxious for the birth which is getting closer and closer and that it’s slightly tainted. I won’t be having another child as two is enough for us. I just hope dp will be there and we all end up safe and healthy back at home. Just so tired and miss family help.

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