Advanced search

Risk between houses? Dc going to their dads

(7 Posts)
sallycinnamon14 Fri 10-Apr-20 15:38:35

I've really struggled with my dc going to their dads during lockdown. I have allowed contact to continue for the sole reason that both households are working from home, isolating as much as possible and so I thought the risk wasn't big. But I'm finding the longer this goes on the anxious I'm getting. Both families are still having to go to the supermarket and as the number of cases in our area creep up (albeit not much, we are in a relatively low affected area) I'm just terrified that the kids going between houses is creating a bigger risk to us all.

I know my ex will be upset if I try to put a stop to it especially since contact has continued following the government advice. Am I right to be worried? Every time I come back from the supermarket I wash my hands thoroughly but how can I be sure they're doing the same?

Aibu? I really don't know...

OP’s posts: |
bluejelly Fri 10-Apr-20 17:04:06

I think there are things in life you can control and things you can't, and this probably fits into the latter category. Try and encourage the children to wash their hands but that's all you can really do. It sounds pretty low risk to me - unless anyone involved has underlying health conditions.

Someoneonlyyouknow Fri 10-Apr-20 17:10:36

It sounds like you are genuinely anxious but the guidance is that this is OK. Sadly, some parents are trying to use this lockdown as a reason to stop the other parent from seeing their children at all. If you should become unwell (heaven forbid) at least you know your children have somewhere else to stay.

BighouseLittlemouse Fri 10-Apr-20 17:10:52


I am in the same position and have health anxiety. However I am trying to keep this under control and will definitely allow my children to keep going to their dads. Although not without risk the risk of children being seriously ill from this is still extremely low ( and less than for flu). Unless you are in a vulnerable category your risk is also low.

For me the damage to my children would be far worse in not seeing their dad than the risk to them from coronavirus. Also I always try to think - even though I am the primary carer - how would I feel if their father decided to not let the kids come to me because of risk.

What puts it really into perspective for me as well is I have several key worker friends, whose children still have to go to school each day ( even during the Easter holidays) and so are also working. I know we are in worrying times and it’s particularly hard to be parted from our DC at this time, but it is important at times try and keep things in perspective.

sallycinnamon14 Fri 10-Apr-20 18:11:59

Thank you for the comments this has reassured me a bit. I am generally anxious with health and general anxiety and as this has gone on I've found myself becoming more and more worried. It's like the longer we are at home the more I dislike going out shopping or having the kids go out to their dads.

But rationally I have no reason to stop. The risk is low in comparison to what other families (those with keyworkers) are having to deal with. It's still such a worry. Just want this to be over :-(

OP’s posts: |
TopBitchoftheWitches Fri 10-Apr-20 18:19:03

My teens have been home for three weeks now, no symptoms, myself two weeks, no symptoms. I'd be happy for their dad to see them as they are all missing each other, however he and his gf live with her elderly parents so won't meet.

LP67824 Fri 10-Apr-20 18:39:47

It’s fine. The children need to see both parents for their own mental wellbeing. Would you be ok if if the roles were reversed and they lived with him?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »