What will go wrong now?
So like a lot of us, I’ve got high anxiety levels related to the pandemic. I’m struggling being locked down in our rural house with DH, 2.8yr old and 8month baby. We’re so close to my parents, see them pretty much everyday and it’s breaking me not having the contact. They’re missing out on so many memories and the children growing, like so many other GPs
They’re both in the vulnerable category due to age so I don’t know when we’ll be seeing them as normal....
I’m also a control freak so this whole new and uncertain world is really messing with me.
So I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. Totally unplanned. I’m so cross with myself. We were happy with two- that was our family complete. Although I didn’t feel ‘done’ in those first few months, things are suddenly getting easier, the babies have a gorgeous relationship and this is it for me.
I’m 38, DP 50. We’re both too old for this now. He runs a successful business but the future is so uncertain. I’m currently a SAHM but was beginning to make plans to get back into my career. We’re very fortunate to have a comfortable life, a big house with lots of indoor and outdoor space but who knows what will happen in the next few months. Life is so uncertain right now....
The pandemic has made me revaluate things and the material is so insignificant now, when we’re all in lockdown the car, the clothes, none of it matters. I’ve always been so very family orientated, and in someways this is an absolute blessing. We have a big group of friends with lots of children between us and l know another baby would be loved to the end of the earth and fit in like he/she has always been here.
I just can’t help the thought of being pregnant in lockdown, with no family or friend support, terrifying. How the hell am I going to cope with a newborn, 16m and 3.4 energetic toddler? My DP is very hands on but 3 takes it to a whole new level.
My baby is still a baby, she will still be so young when the baby is here.I don’t think it’s fair on her. I’m not great at being pregnant and know I’ll spend the months wishing the time away and missing out on such precious moments.
I’ve this overwhelming fear that we are so very blessed to have two healthy babies and that there will be something wrong with this baby that won’t get detected. The impact of that on the children terrifies me and I know I’m not strong enough to cope with that.
We’ve both got a history of twins on both sides so there’s always the risk of going from 2 to 4 children!!
My first birth was traumatic, second was perfect- calm and in the water. I had quite a significant bleed after so I know that, combined with my age, will now put me at higher risk. My levels of anxiety about the birth were high the whole way through my last pregnancy. I can’t dven contemplate it again.
This is such a nightmare and I know it’s my own doing. So many people would do anything to be in my shoes, I know it’s a blessing but I’m scared, disappointed that we took such a stupid risk and so upset....
If it was at any other time I think i’s have more chance of dealing with this rationally. Right now, the whole world is fucked and I’m just so lost....
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Covid
Thanks 2020- now an unplanned pregnanacy
20 replies
sunandrose · 30/03/2020 12:28
OP posts:
SonEtLumiere ·
30/03/2020 12:39
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