I've upset my TTC friend - How can I patch it up?

[lilllysa]

Not sure if this is the right section to post in but felt like the ladies TTC might be able to empathize with my friend and give me some useful advice

So.. My friend has been TTC for about 4 years now. She gets very upset by it as so far there is no medical reason for her problems - Just one of those things she keeps being told.

I had my coil out on 09/04/10 . . Period on 11/04/10 . . Then got my BFP on the 16/05/10 (showing 1-2weeks preg) I was very aware of it being early days so didnt want to tell anyone apart from close family and my DP obviously . . I also wanted to make sure that when the time came to tell others that I spoke to her face to face and made sure that it was done with minimal upset to her.

Unfortunatly this wasnt to be . . I had a midwives appointment which my DP wanted to attend so he told his boss in confidence about so he could take an hour off work . . She then text a few of her friends to tell them . . Next thing I know I get multiple texts from 4 of my friends asking if I was pregnant

I replied to her saying that yes I was and it was very early days and I would have told her blah blah but shes never replied and I havent spoken to her since despite various attempts from me to initiate contact.

Not really sure what to do now and my hormones are all over the place so I'm finding it hard to think rationally and without getting very upset

Again not sure if this is the right place but thanks for any help anyone can think of

[BessieBoots]

Not your fault. Your husband's boss telling people is shocking...

I'm sure she'll come around... Give her time...
Congratulations

[ljg72]

Really not your fault...give her time and I'm sure she will.
If she's a true friend, she will think it over, and be in touch.
Just because she isn't pregnant yet...she should still be happy for you!, and you really do not need the stress and worry.

Take care X

[WhoKnew2010]

Talk to her either in person or on the phone. Just say that you're sorry it hasn't happened for her yet and that it really doesn't seem fair. (Or whatever seems the right thing to you).

I spent a fairly long time waiting to get pg and went through bouts of IVF and was always pleased for people when they got pg (even my sister who rubbed it in my face quite a bit) but it hurt. A lot.

Life isn't fair, she knows it. She may well end up in tears or be cross but she will probably appreciate the fact that you've tried to talk to her about it. And, of course, enjoy your own pregnancy.

[lilllysa]

Thanks for all the advice. Think I'll leave it a little while and see how we go. Dont want to keep pushing it if it upsets her

Thanks again x

[loopylou2]

Lillysa

Congratulations on your BFP!!

But....I am horrified by this!!!

How about sending a strongly worded letter to your DP's boss complaining about breaching employee confidentiality? After all your personal life should really not be something which she uses to entertain herself by gossiping about it.

And with regards to your friend, I feel like I have been TTC for ages and when a friend of mine got pg recently unplanned I felt jealous hurt and angry as well as sooo happy for her. Then I felt awful because good friends don't get jealous hurt and angry about their loved ones, do they?

If I was in your shoes I'd talk to her on the phone or send a nice card explaining things and ssaying you know it's difficult for her but you still care and that you'll wait for her to make the next move in terms of getting in touch with you

Good luck to you, and your TTC friend