Scared to become pregnant

[Maitri]

I have two dcs - 13 and 5 and dh and I are about to ttc for our third and final one. I've always felt that there's a space for another one in our family. We're very lucky that our family dynamics are great; we are all very close so it all adds up to a good start for a new baby. However, I'm terrified of conceiving again - I can't explain why. I found pregnancy quite a lonely experience the second time round and dd was a very difficult baby/toddler so I'm anxious about coping with another potentially difficult baby.

I know that if I don't have another baby, I will forever regret that decision but I'm just so scared to make the leap. Does anyone else recognise these ambivalent feelings?

Any words of wisdom or advice would be gratefully received.

[OnlyWantsOneFartleBerry]

it is scary, we have um and arrrr'd about it - and decided to wait, but DP and I are both doing other things and age is luckily, on our side.

Every pregnancy is different as you know

[Maitri]

Thank you! It's just good to know that I'm not the only one to be going through the ambivalence!

[sunchild77]

Maitri, I am in a very similar position, except my dcs are nearly 4 and 2. Im scared that if I dont have #3, I'll always regret it, but also if I DO have #3, that it will completely change the dynamic of our family. We have a ds and a dd, and everyone (family mostly) says that we dont "need" another one, cos we have a boy and a girl already.

Some days I REALLY want another, and then other days I really DONT! if you kwim?

I also had quite bad ppd after ds, and Im worried that I'd get it again....

What I want is a crystal bloody ball to tell me what to do!

[Muser]

Having a baby is scary. I don't think anyone should take the decision lightly. But maybe you could think of how much more prepared you'll be this time. If you felt lonely you can take steps to avoid that this time. Joining clubs or just using mumsnet. And with pnd you'll know the signs so can get help faster. I am the youngest of 3 and my family dynamic is great. My db and ds are very close and were growing up, but we work as a 3. I'm very glad my parents didn't stop when they had one of each!