Stress and the effect on monthly cycles and potential ovulation over coming weeks

[ChrissyW]

I have had quite a bit of heartbreak over recent months trying to conceive ... well as it turns out, getting pregnant has not the problem but keeping the babies has been. I had a MC at 12 weeks in November last year. However almost immediately fell pregnant with twins (without having a full cycle) so a lovely lovely surprise. Sadly we lost both the babies at 22 weeks due to an infection which caused premature labour. Following on from this huge loss I had to have two operations under a general anesthetic which added to the trauma and stress of the entire situation.

I am slowly trying to get my life back together and we a are desperate to conceive again. Our specialist has told us that we ok to do this however it seems that my cycle is not doing quite what I expected.

I was told by specialist immediately following second D&C that the bleeding I was experiencing was my period so we starting ttc when the bleeding finished, but got my period just over 2.5 weeks later (1st July). I therefore expected that my next cycle would not start until 29th July but it started on the 26th which is nearly four days early. What is extra confusing is I used the Clearblue ovulation sticks and it showed a positive on the 14th day of the cycle.

I guess the questions I have are:

Could it be down to the stress and upset of losing my little angels that my cycle is not entirely reliable?

If my latest cycle started on the 26th which was 25 days after my previous cycle, should I be estimating a 25 day cycle this time and ovulation date around the 14th day, or should I be calculating on a longer cycle just in case?

I know it is a complicated question but I just feel unable to really move on and being to heal until I know I am expecting again - I know nothing will replace them but I have now lost three children in the past year and all I want to be is a mother.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

[babyboom1979]

I am so sorry for your losses. I have also experienced two miscarriages and it really is soul destroying.

After my first miscarriage it took about 6 months for my cycles to return to normal. I had mid-cycle spotting, followed by short cycles, followed by long ones. It was a mess and I found it very hard to deal with as previously I had always been like clockwork. After my second miscarriage (which was much earlier) I returned to normal cycles immediately.

Having lost your angels at 22 weeks, I would not be surprised if your hormones take a while to settle. I think stress may play a small part but I would be more inclined to say that it's just your body regularising itself after something quite physically traumatic.

I tried roughly estimating my cycles in the 6 months after my first miscarriage and later realised (because I wasn't falling pregnant) that I was ovulating at very different points in the month. Unless, you take your temperature, use ovulation sticks, or the clearblue fertility monitor, it may be quite heard to predict your most fertile period when your cycles are still irregular.

I can't imagine how difficult this must be, but you know you will fall pregnant again when your body is ready. It may take a few months but it will happen.

My sympathies and all the best.