Advice needed- weird situation re egg donation.

[Trebuchet]

So I approached the ACU at Birmingham Womens hospital back in Jan about becoming an egg donor. My family is complete now. I'm 32, been thinking about it for some time and thought I'd better get on with it if I'm going to do it.

They were a bit hard to get hold of, kept trying to get me to get my gp to refer me for IVF if I wanted to egg share. I had to speak to 3 people before getting through to them that I just wanted to donate.

I have now been through all the tests, had counselling, written my letter to the receiving parents and any child who might be conceived, but the clinic just don't seem to be interested. They told me I was only the second donor they'd had come forward all year, but I feel as though I am pushing myself onto them.

All along I kept having to continually call to get them to send out my next appt. They would always make them in the evening and then afterwards say, "Oh the receptionists have gone now so we can't make you an appt, we'll send one out." This has happened 3 times and each time I've had to chase it.

The last time I was last there was 8th May, when again I was told my next appt, where we would book in to start, would be sent out. I'm still waiting. I have called and left messages. After a bit of phone tennis someone called me back and we made an appointment over the phone, but the day before it was due they cancelled due to illness and promised to ring first thing Monday morning to re schedule. This was 3 weeks ago.

I feel annoyed that they made out donors were in desperate need, but they don't seem very keen on having my eggs.

If they are as keen as they say, why is no-one at any point saying hang on wasn't that person really interested, I wonder whats going on there. I know they don't want to push people into anything but this is the opposite extreme.

If I was waiting to receive an egg I'd feel really upset about this.

Anyone got any advice or had a similar experience?

[OracleInaCoracle]

blimey, sounds like incompetance to me. especially considering how desperate clinics are for eggs!

[Trebuchet]

Thanks for reply Lis, any ideas what I should do? x

[Onlyaphase]

I've spent a fair amount of time in in IVF clinics over the last few years, and your experience does seem odd to me. I suppose it may be that they are more used to egg donors turning up with the couple they want to donate to, so they haven't got to go through a matching process?

IME clinics have a list of people waiting for donors to turn up, so I assume you haven't been matched with any of these couples yet, else the recipient couple would be pushing the timetable forward too.

Anyway, if I were you I'd email/phone the co ordinator there and state the way you feel and is there a reason you are being sidelined/what is the holdup?

Or actually, being sneaky, I'd call up as a new potential egg donor and ask what the procedure is and the waiting times etc, so you know what is supposed to be happening and can use this in any other conversation you may have with them.

Is there another clinic near you that you could go to? As you say, women are desperate for donor eggs, and it would be such a shame if you ended up not donating eggs due to a clinic's incompetence

[OracleInaCoracle]

Trebuchet, im with onlyaphase.i will be donating to fund our ivf (if needed) and the clinic have been very keen to push forward, we dont even have to see cons again til sept. our local clinic (shropshire and midwales) is crying out for donors, dont know if thats too far.

[Trebuchet]

Thanks ladies for advice. There are several clinics near me its just that the process seems so drawn out already, it seems a shame to start all over again and have to do all the tests etc again.

I will call up Monday, I think you're right I need to get over myself (my words not yours!)and just ask whats going on.

xxxxx