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Does anyone want to share their wisdom on having a third, I have so many issues

(37 Posts)
mosschops30 Wed 09-Jul-08 18:44:41

Ok, so have been feeling pretty broody for about a week now. Have discussed it with dh and he seems up for no.3.

Now I have lots of problems to do with this and just want you wise lot to sort me out because really theyre not that important they just niggle me.

Me and dh havent had the best year, in fact its been really shit, with us nearly splitting about 3 times. No for anything major, neither of us have been unfaithful or stopped loving each other its just days to day stuff and general pissing each other off. When we have considered splitting its been pretty scary thinking about being on my own with 2 children, how would I feel with 3??
Also I have huge body issues, it took me about 18 months to get my figure back after ds, am now back into a size 8 and go to the gym and classes regularly, Im not sure how I'd cope with being pregnant again, body wise?
How different is it to the first two, does your body ever recover after 3 babies? Is it always a bigger baby, is labour better or worse?

Lots more questions but will leave it at that for now smile TIA

geisha Wed 09-Jul-08 18:52:27

Will watch this thread with interest mosschops. Am in similar position but with different issues.

crokky Wed 09-Jul-08 18:57:31

Also in similar position with different issues!!

mosschops30 Wed 09-Jul-08 19:00:22

perhaps we should just go for it ladies grin

luceyd Wed 09-Jul-08 20:23:50

Can I join! Convinced I wanted two but for the last two years have flirted with the idea of having three. I range from an overwhelming desire to have another to looking at my two and thinking I should quit while i'm ahead!

Pro's - large family (only child so love the idea of this) - Another baby / toddler etc, love the pre school years and have great fun with them - Love the idea of three older children as well.

Cons- finances, not on a day to day basis but holidays, trips out etc. - Body issues, like you Mosschops I have just about got back to normal (if you ever can) and resent the thought of putting on weight. - Time, can you really give enough?

My age gap would be at least 4 years between the youngest and 6 from the oldest - Although maybe easier on a practical level will this leave any 3rd detached from the other two? Also if we go somewhere will DH and I always have to do independantly as the older two will want to do different things than the younger one???

I have seriously thought about therapy for this one ...!grin

gigglewitch Wed 09-Jul-08 20:29:37

ooooh am i the only one answering shock?
no3 was..
my only 'normal' pg, thus the "best" (of a bad job, you understand...) wink
easiest birth, shortest labour etc (once it actually got going, that is)
smallest baby, mine went 1lb smaller each time grin

she is fab. family complete.
We were also convinced we wanted two. then errrr, three wink
best thing i ever did.

But no more, I am terminally knackered smile but it is good.

notnowbernard Wed 09-Jul-08 20:30:26

I am truly split also

Half of me has that biological desire (longing?) to have another baby. I know dp would be up for it. I know it would 'all be alright in the end' if it were to be a bit wobbly for a while

But the other half thinks "but it's so lovely now, getting a bit easier"... why disrupt everything, IYKWIM?

And can't afford it and don't have the space sad

scorpio1 Wed 09-Jul-08 20:32:48

I have found 3 less hard than the jump from 1-2 personally.

Body issue - yup, me too. have always been a 6/8 - 3 weeks after birth i was back in my 8 clothes - BF is fab for that.

My baby was 8lb 9oz, other dc were 6lb 11 and 8lb 1, quicker labour, VERY forceful iyswim. Had a HB for the first time - best thing ever

theboob Wed 09-Jul-08 20:35:05

the best thing ever,easy birth smaller baby,mine also went down in size ,i would love another baby,i found weight hard to lose after num 2,fell off after num 3,money issues are a little tighter but so worth it ,and if your dc are a bit older its so much easier my dc love their little brother smile

gigglewitch Wed 09-Jul-08 20:38:09

I can see where you all are in your heads, as it were, we always knew we wanted a family - thus no1 decided on, and that we wanted more than one - so no2 was also an easy decision. no3 however felt like a totally different can of worms, with 'timing' and all kinds of stuff, especially the other 2 dc to take into account so a harder "decision" iyswim. We got down to the 'well if we are talking about it we both want it and if we both want it then we'll regret it if we don't try wink'

OurHamsterisevil Wed 09-Jul-08 20:49:56

Wow, there seems to be so many people going through the big decision of whether to increase to 3 kids. I am too.

My main worry is speed of labour, not a usual one I suppose. DS1 4 hrs, DS2 1hr 45, so I do worry what would happen next time.

Lots of people seem to have positive things to say about having 3 though. If I decide we can afford it I think we will go for it. Remarkably DS1 would like another baby to dribble all over his toys

OurHamsterisevil Wed 09-Jul-08 20:51:11

Gigglewitch, I do feel I will regret it if we don't try. DH has said that too

notnowbernard Wed 09-Jul-08 20:54:53

OOh, Gigglewitch...

You've thrown a spanner in the works now! grin

Dp has said he wants another one. I am pretty sure I want another one. Sadly it is the horrible materialistic/practicality/financial side of it that is the major hurdle sad

gigglewitch Wed 09-Jul-08 20:55:34

btw at the risk of causing you lot to start a population increase wink i agree with scorpio that the jump to three is easier than 1 to 2.

gigglewitch Wed 09-Jul-08 20:56:11

shock sorry nnb
<what did i say?>

notnowbernard Wed 09-Jul-08 20:57:49

Gigglewitch - I mean that the last line of your last post spoke VOLUMES of good sense!

You are in danger of convincing me to go for no.3 grin

kiltycoldbum Wed 09-Jul-08 20:58:32

i want another (to make 3) had csection 5 1/2 months ago, how soon is too soon? really? and also found out recently my father was a twin, would i be anymore likely to have twins even though last 2 havent been?

how can i be broody when i have a 5 1/2 month old baby sleeping away in his cot!? smile

we do want a big family though. im one of 6. smile

ilovemydog Wed 09-Jul-08 20:58:34

Oh stop all this positive stuff about number 3! smile

notnowbernard Wed 09-Jul-08 20:58:43

(about the regret at not trying)

gigglewitch Wed 09-Jul-08 20:58:46

<preen>
smile

get on with it then woman....grin

GivePeasAChance Wed 09-Jul-08 21:01:07

Our hamster is evil too

osborne Wed 09-Jul-08 21:08:22

Have three under four and its lovely, but i do have a couple of hours help each morning. One to two much harder, than two to three. WAs depressed after 2 but fine with 3, also labour longer but more better with 3rd.
Once you get to know them you can't help but love them.
Woudl kill for a week off though!

mosschops30 Fri 11-Jul-08 10:01:50

If we did go for No. 3, ds would be 4.5 and dd would be 13 shock
so i suppose that cancels out the worry about days out and stuff because we rarely get something that they will both enjoy (i just took dd to alton towers, ds goes to the park etc).
I would be grateful for the quicker labour, dd was 25 hours, ds a more pleasing 6.5 hours.

Oh i dont know, think Im gonna sit on it for now, realistically i would need to be pg by January 09, so I have a bit of time smile

JLo2 Fri 11-Jul-08 18:17:24

I have number 3 and obviuosly wouldn't change him for the world!
In answer to your 'issues':
My labour was a similar length to the other two (LONG!). He was not the heaviest (pfb was!). My other 2 were early and he was a day late!

JLo2 Fri 11-Jul-08 18:18:57

Clearly No 3 means I can't spell!

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