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Torn about delaying ttc

(8 Posts)
Corilee2806 Fri 03-Apr-20 11:27:06

Hi all, don’t know what I’m trying to get from writing this, just maybe some support really or views from anyone experiencing something similar. Was about to start ttc no 2, have a 16 month old and am almost 35 - felt like the right time in terms of life, job etc and we don’t want a big age gap.

We’d just started trying before things really got serious with CV but I’ve just got AF this month and now feel like we’ve got a really tough decision about whether to continue. I’ve had 3 pregnancies, 2 ended in early MC and my DD was growth restricted so resulted in being consultant led, lots of CTG monitoring and scans etc resulting in a traumatic induction at 37 weeks (she was born at 5lb).

With this history I feel like it would be mad to carry on with the knowledge of what’s going on right now, NHS resources etc and hearing about what some pregnant women are experiencing in terms of their care right now. But I don’t know how long it could take. Perhaps it’s a case of waiting a few months and seeing how it all pans out. It’s just hard as I have other friends who haven’t had these sorts of complications who are getting pregnant or still planning to and I know we can’t really do the same.

I just feel so confused and sad. I know we are v lucky to have our DD and others are facing a much worse situation, but the feelings of loss of control about the future are still hard.

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MyBabyBoyBlue Fri 03-Apr-20 11:33:44

No advice really, but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I'm in the same boat, getting on in years and want a sibling for my almost 3 year old. I also have PCOS so am aware I may not have the easiest time TTC, but am also really worried about the possibility of being pregnant during a pandemic and putting additional pressure on the NHS. I think only you know what is right for your situation, but we have decided to put our plans on hold for now as the situation is still so new and we dont yet know much about it.

Corilee2806 Fri 03-Apr-20 12:24:39

Thank you, knowing we’re not alone definitely helps, it’s not something that’s easy to talk about with family and friends. Yes I’m worried about further miscarriages and it taking a while but also what kind of care I’d get if I did have to go into hospital. Yes it’s such a personal decision, and no one really has the answers given that this situation is totally unprecedented...

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F1rstt1imer Fri 03-Apr-20 12:45:09

We’re in a similar boat....DD is 18months although was a very straightforward pregnancy and I’m 35. We had to started TTC around 6 weeks ago and DH and I had a long talk about it but as it took us a while to fall last time we’ve decided to carry on as don’t want a huge age gap and there is no guarantee that we will fall soon. Personally I don’t think there is any right or wrong decision. Just think you have make what you think is the best decision for your family and be confident in that decision x

Catclock Fri 03-Apr-20 14:55:01

I don't think waiting a few months would do any harm at this stage, you've still got LOADS of time left in you smile and it would alleviate the stress of the unknown, given the situation at the minute. Take the pressure off yourself. And maybe use the current time to top up on your health etc so that you're ready again in a few months x

EveHen Fri 03-Apr-20 15:50:19

Hi, just wanted to add my experience which might affect your decision. I just miscarried at 9 weeks - I was given a scan but then told that they were not offering any 'management' options - things just have to happen naturally. I had already decided I wanted surgical option - but they have no anaesthetists. So pregnancy monitoring is affected by covid.

Annny27 Fri 03-Apr-20 15:56:38

@evehen sorry for your loss 💗 that's why I have decided to postpone for a month atleast. I had a MMC in november and needed a lot of intervention including the tablets and then emergency surgery and I am worried about the level of care again. Thanks for sharing your experience

Corilee2806 Fri 03-Apr-20 18:38:16

Thanks all for your response, especially helpful to know about your miscarriage experiences - so sorry to hear about those. It’s hard enough as it is without all this worry too. It does sort of conform what I was thinking.

Yes I know time isn’t too much of an issue but for a number of reasons getting pregnant this year was the best option for us a family. But I think I would just be too stressed and anxious, it has taken a while to even get my head around trying to TTC anyway after the last time. But yes good idea to use a few months to focus on health and getting ready!

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