Was I ever even pregnant?

[Kaylrw]

Hi, I’ve never posted on this before but I’ve been scrolling through these threads for weeks and I can’t find anyone else who has suffered what I’ve recently been through.
My fiancé and I decided at the beginning of this year to stop contraception and ‘see what happened’ I had a period exactly thirty days after stopping my pill and another exactly thirty days after again. However in March I took a test at 32 days and got BFN, I then took another at 36 which also said negative. I ended up taking another test at day 44 (24.3.19) of the cycle which was positive, and another one which also said positive the day after to make sure : we were over the moon and obviously started to become really excited. However, on April 1st when I would have been approx 7 was pregnant I began spotting lightly intermittently for two days. I rang my midwife who referred me to the early pregnancy unity at the end of the week. I had no more bleeding. At EPAU appointment they scanned me and their words were they ‘could not find any evidence of a pregnancy at all’ and suggested it may have been a false positive And the spotting I noticed was a very late period. I was not only heartbroken but totally embarrassed that I had got it wrong and so confused as I had started to feel nauseas and so so tired the few weeks before. We were sent for bloods to rule out an ectopic. My HCG result was 6 which the nurse told me was the only evidence that I had ever been pregnant at all and that I must have miscarried very early on. It’s now been 6 weeks following this and I still haven’t had a period (or any bleeding at all for that matter). I took a pregnancy test today which was negative. I’ve had no follow up from the midwife to clarify anything and find it so hard to get an appointment with my GO and I’m still so confused about what’s going on with my body and feel as though I’m grieving for something which may not have ever even existed and would love some advice from anyone who has ever been through anything similar, thank you x

[Refilona]

I think you had a chemical pregnancy - don’t feel embarrassed about “getting it wrong”. You had a positive test so you didn’t get it wrong anyway. It’s okay to be sad and grieve. I hope you have good news soon x

[Squiff70]

I'm sorry to hear you've been through this!

It sounds to me like you might have had a chemical pregnancy, and if that's the case then yes you were pregnant but only briefly. An early miscarriage is very similar to a chemical and either way they're hard to cope with (I've been through both). Sending hugs your way!

[itscallednickingbentcoppers]

Pregnancy is a funny old thing you know, hcg rises and falls differently every pregnancy, sounds like yours rose slowly (which is typical of a chemical pregnancy) and fell quickly after thereafter. I'm sorry for your loss OP.