not pregnant AGAIN

[XamberXx]

I thought for sure I was pregnant this time… Just felt so different… So when af showed up it was a big letdown... I’ve been crying off and on for three days now… I think I’m suffering from depression. I’m crying just typing this… I’m so scared that I’ll never get pregnant… I’m afraid we’ll have to use donor eggs… I’m so not ready for this! I doubt if we’ll be able to afford it… So many thoughts on my mind which make me scared of my future… I want a baby sooo bad… It breaks my heart that I can’t have one… I just need someone who knows what I’m going through help me back on my feet... No one at home knows how I feel… Seems like I have no one to talk to, not even my dh. He feels bad for me but it doesn’t affect him the way it does me... I feel like crawling in a hole and hiding from the world...

[dinaff]

I am so sorry for what you are going thru... Just curious though...How long have you been ttc? I can understand how you feel. This is really hard to move on to the next phase. Both emotionally and physically… And it’s so expensive and not affordable... I will keep you in my prayers.... The good news is you still have options! I know this is hard but try to read more about de ivf. I’m sure the more you know about it, the less fear you’ll feel about de. I meet a lot of girls on the board who used de/thinking about this option. I’m sure you can easily find info about the ivf itself and also prices and affordable options. I’m sure the whole thing is not that scary as it seems to you know. Just try and stay positive!!!

[turquoisebaby]

I feel your pain :'( AF hit me like a brick 2 days ago. I've managed to hold back the tears this month but I am feeling totally dead inside.

[janettes7]

I am so sorry you can’t conceive. I am just getting my AF this month and it's always so depressing. Men just don't get it! I tried clomid for two months but got really frustrated that it did not work for us. So, I started to push my physician, asking what else can be wrong. He told me endometriosis can be the problem. I was so frustrated after 2 years of ttc that I had a surgery to see if I in fact have endo. The surgery found no endo but lots of scar tissue that was preventing conception on both sides. I guess the best advice I can give you is to check if endo or something like that is causing infertility since clomid cannot solve that. Clomid is affordable but was not helping me since an egg could not even get to my tubes. Many insurers do not cover fertility treatment but will cover testing and endometriosis treatment. I hope you get that BFP soon.

[Joopy]

It is so tough, how long have you been trying? It only took a few months to concieve my ds but I found it it really difficult each month when AF turned up. Stay positive and keep busy

[frankyHK178]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I completely understand where you are right now. I have had three miscarriages. So now we are thinking about IVF with de. After my last mc(actually after all of them, but third one hit me hard) I was no doubt depressed. I cried for days. I didn't go to work for a week and stayed in bed just about the whole time. I basically did the bare minimum just to "look" like I was working from home. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder what you say you are scared of "Will I have a baby." But I have to believe that one day I will. I know this not a cheer you up pep talk. But I wanted to let you know that I do understand how you feel. I can only say that it gets easier to deal with on a daily basis as time goes by. Today was a particular terrible day for me. One of those days that reminds me what a crappy situation this is to be in. You've got a great chance to have a baby through de. So keep some faith that your baby is still making its way to you.

[lorraddu]

Hang in there hun. I too get so depressed when af shows up. Then as the cycle goes on I get optimistic that THIS is going to be the cycle. Then I convince myself I'm pregnant during the entire TWW only to get depressed again. It's a draining process. I’ve got pregnant on the first round of Clomid but it was a chemical pregnancy. Instead of doing the second round of clomid on the next cycle, I decided to just take a break from it all (which is not easy after ttc for a year). Sometimes you need to give yourself the time to NOT think about fertility/infertility. Good luck.

[XamberXx]

Thank all of you ladies for your support. It means the world to me… When I need someone to talk to, or someone to let me cry on their shoulder… Even though you’re not here with me… You’re more here than anyone else... I don’t know any of you but I love all of you… I would feel so alone without you guys... Again, thank you...