Zika and conceiving

[MSG92]

My husband is in the Army and is going away in May for 6 months, we have been planning to conceive for over a year, buying a new house which we are moving into in about 6 weeks, got a better job etc all in preparation for a baby. We thought we'd go on a nice relaxing holiday for 2 weeks before he goes, being pregnant when he's away means he won't miss birth etc so perfect timing.

Found out last week the countries we are going to have zika virus! Wasn't mentioned when we were booking. We are going on a cruise--Grand Cayman Islands, Panama, Jamaica, Costa Rica, Colombia and Florida, only in each place for 1 day (8 hours ish) apart from Florida 4 days. This has ruined everything!!! I tried to change destinations but they will only let us if I am already pregnant, can't do that otherwise he won't be back for the birth.

We desperately don't want to wait, because he is going to zika countries as well so earliest we'd be able to try is next March-June (3-6 months after he returns), when you've been waiting a long time this adds so much more time!

What do people advise? Would really appreciate a GP and scientist opinion as well as other people in similar positions. We figured we will do our best to not get bitten by covering up and using repellent, both have blood tests then if clear start trying 4 weeks after we're back, I know it may not happen but I'd feel better if we at least got to try and get pregnant before he goes. I've read the test is 97% accurate and zika can live in sperm longer than blood, so what if he (sorry to be crude) ejaculates a lot before we start trying as well, will that help?

As I said we will only even consider this if we don't get bitten and the blood tests are clear.

[lucyylu]

We had our honeymoon in Mexico and didn’t realise before we booked about Zika virus. As much as we tried to prevent being bitten, we both were. I went to the gp when I got home and he said to definitely not try for 6 months - he said it just wasn’t worth the risks. It was devastating at the time as 6 months seemed so long but it passed really quickly. I know this story won’t be the one you were hoping for but I’m happy we waited- better to be safe.

[MSG92]

Thanks Lucyylu,
Yes, it's the advice we were given but for us it won't be 6 months, it will be a wait of approx 13 months minimum from now... We would cancel our holiday if we wouldn't lose all the money, we want a baby more but can't afford to lose what we've paid

[RMarieClaire]

Oh god, OP. This is so difficult. I think going but still trying would be a mistake. It's a huge risk to the baby. Then again, if you don't go there's no guarantee you'll get pregnant.

Could you start trying now, in the hope you're pregnant before you go and can cancel?

Otherwise, I would consider just letting the money go (maybe try to factor it as an extra house expense - there are so many it all kind of blurs anyway)

[LondonGirl83]

Depends on your age and how many children you want but if children and timing are the priority then I wouldn't go. Those are relatively high risk areas.

So sorry you find yourself in this difficult position.

[Kinsters]

I live in a zika area and we're TTC. Not much we can do about it except try not to get bitten (but that's almost impossible and it will spoil your holiday if you're stressing about it the whole time).

I just look at it as another risk similar to toxoplasmosis, listeria, etc. You can take steps to guard against it but don't let it rule your life. I guess it's a bit different for me living in a zika area though.

Could you go and see if you get bitten and then take it from there? Although if you're older and don't feel you can delay anymore maybe cancel the holiday.

[Snipples]

We cancelled our trip when we were in your position OP. Sorry. Not worth the risk. One option is to go. Use protection and then have the private test for Zika when you get back to confirm if you can ttc or not. I think it's a few hundred quid but would save you the long wait.

[PBobs]

We live in a zika area. It hasn't even been mentioned by our doctor and I diddn't even think about it until reading a similar post on here. I've had mosquito bits before and during pregnancy. Not ideal but as far as we can tell baby is looking good at 25 weeks. I thought it wasn't such am issue with cruises though as you're not actually on land for that long?

[Lauren83]

As hard as it is I think you should wait, through my job we see a lot of people TTC through fertility treatment and I know this isn't the case for you but those having treatment often freeze sperm before travelling so they can use it when they are back without having to wait the 6 months when they return, those that don't freeze would do the bloods after 4 weeks, it's rare but I have seen positive blood tests from those who were convinced they didn't get bitten

[MSG92]

Thanks for all your messages. I don't think not going is an option, it has to be a joint decision and I am pretty sure that as my husband is going away working for 6 months he has his heart set on going.

Re trying before we go, we can't, he won't be back for the birth if we try now.

I was going to go and see what happens, if we don't get bitten then consider blood tests and TTC, if we do get bitten, we wait. I have considered IUI, freezing his sperm before we go. I just don't know how I feel about getting pregnant for the 1st time through IUI not naturally, and obviously it might not work, we only get 1 shot whilst he's away and if it doesn't work that's £1000+ gone when we might get pregnant naturally.

This holiday really has ruined all our plans, virgins advice was contact you GP for advice,, so I did, as used not to travel, told Virgin who said can't do anything unless your already pregnant, my response is what the was the point in telling me to contact my GP for advice if you are going say we can't do anything?!?!

[YepImafraidIchangeditagain]

we want a baby more but can't afford to lose what we've paid*

But you wouldn't have that money anyway, if you went?

It would be crappy to not be able to have the holiday, but you need to decide if you'd rather go and wait longer for a baby or sacrifice the holiday and try sooner.

You may be able to 'sell' the holiday? A 'buyer' would just pay for name changes? That way, at least you know someone has enjoyed it.

[Youcandothis365]

OP we went to a Zika virus in November and did our best to not to get bitten ( lots of Deet).

We had the blood tests 2 months after getting home (we'd planned to have them straight away but we had a change of circumstances) and got the all clear. Also, because of the timeframe, when we started TTC we were outside of the 3 month time limit that the CDC gives ( the NHS hasn't amended its guidance but the CDC does more research into Zika so I was content to use their guidance along with the blood tests).

Could you do something like the above? I know 3 months is still a long time, but perhaps you can use it to come off your pill / get ready to TTC?

[MSG92]

Hi youcandothis365,
That would be a great plan, if he was here in 3 months after we return but he isn't. We get back March 31st he leaves end of May,

YepImafraidIchangeditagain I know what I would do, but as I said this needs to be a joint decision, I don't want resentment or bad feelings

[Pushpull]

I'd try again with virgin to get the holiday moved, mention about being in the forces and how it's a much longed for holiday. And also say you're surprised they weren't upfront about being in a zika area. Put it all in writing and basically beg. You might just get a sympathetic reader. Or would your travel insurer cover it?

Otherwise i would cancel, it doesn't seem worth the risk and I understand in your situation you can't delay. There is no way you can avoid getting bitten and I think it would ruin the holiday

[YepImafraidIchangeditagain]

YepImafraidIchangeditagain I know what I would do, but as I said this needs to be a joint decision, I don't want resentment or bad feelings

I'm sure you've thought about it an awful lot, it must be a really rubbish decision.
But if you think that there might be resentment from your OH about missing out on a holiday, when your potential conception is at risk or hugely delayed, maybe there is more to discuss before you try for a baby?

[mrs2468]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. We found out we were pregnant when we were on holiday which was a zika infected area. We paid around £700 to get private tests on our return. I can’t remember exactly but the optimum time to get tested is x after being bitten due to incubation period. The NHS would only test if you were pregnant and have symptoms or had been bitten. That was my experience anyway. As hard as it is to make the decision I guess it’s go on holiday and if you can afford it set tested or wait. Either that or cancel your holiday. Neither are easy decisions. Good luck.

[MSG92]

I'll try complaining in writing to Virgin, I just love the advice, seek advice from your GP, you tell them the advise received and they won't do anything, basically the choice from them is lose all your money you have given us or put your life plans on hold because we are incompetent and don't warn of exposure at the time of booking. I told them I don't want a refund, just let me go somewhere else.

I have come off the pill, been taking folic acid etc all in preparation. I think we will just end up going, and seeing what happens, we can check each other daily to see if we have bites, if we do game over, if we don't then do we risk the blood test...this is the hardest decision and so unexpected

[YepImafraidIchangeditagain]

Is there a chance you could already be pregnant? As you said you had already come off the pill?

It doesn't seem worth the risk.....

[Russell19]

So are you saying you'd only have 2 cycles at the most to ttc?

There's no saying you'd actually get pregnant within that time so you'd have to wait until he's back anyway....

Just enjoy the holiday and wait and see. Xx

[MSG92]

God I hope not, that would really push me over the edge knowing I have to do it all alone whilst he is thousands of miles away! I've just come off my 1st natural period since coming off the pill so I would say no I am not, we were supposed to start trying from March 10th. No, I know it isn't definite, I think its not even being able to try that I am struggling with, if it didn't happen then its rubbish but nothing you can do, currently though, we're not even sure we can try which is what's hard

[olderthanyouthink]

Might be a bit immoral but...How would you have to prove to them you're pregnant?

Your gp/Midwife just takes your word for it anyway and you don't see a midwife for ages and people do very early positive tests that turn out to be chemical pregnancies.

Could tell them in a couple weeks you've done a test and its positive? Are they going to check in 9months to see that you've had the baby?

[wombatsears]

You can pay to get privately tested on return rather than wait the 6 months. Although it’s a few hundred pounds I think so not cheap.

[geologyrocks]

I did a cruise in those places on my honeymoon. Fell pregnant shortly after and advised the maternity team and they said it wasn't a question they ask anymore. This was 2 years ago!

[MSG92]

Olderthanyouthink I did consider that, husband won't go for it in case! I am planning on paying for blood tests wombatsears, but it's not 100% accurate or so I've read. We were going to go on holiday, if we don't get bitten which as I said, we are only in each place for a number of hours so it is possible to avoid, we didn't get bitten on our last cruise, no bites means we have blood tests and then it's the decision of do we try if they are or should we wait until June 2020 (such a long time away!!!)

[wanderlustgirl]

Could you go and not leave the shop? I know it's not ideal...

[Kinsters]

MSG92 I think that sounds like a good plan. Just take max strength deet with you and put it on regularly. On a cruise I think you've got a good chance of not being bitten, mosquitos are usually the worst at dawn and dusk and presumably you'll be on the ship at that time.

Perhaps bring along a plug in coil for your room just in case as well?