TTC #3 come join me!

[Lucylondon32]

Hi,
I seem to be struggling trying to find parents TTC number 3 so thought I'd start a thread.

I currently have a 2yo DS and 4yo DD
Hoping for one more to add to our family!

After weighing up the pros and cons we have decided to have a go and see what life has planned for us

X

[TheGruffalosLoveChild]

Hi! I’ve also been watching out for a thread for those TTC#3 but haven’t seen any. Perhaps those with 2 (especially if they’re young) are too busy for Mumsnet .

We’ll be TTC#3 shortly so I’ll join you! Have you started already? Very best of luck x

[YouMaySayImADreamer]

Hi, I will join you! Also ttc #3 after a slight gap - youngest dc being 4 and oldest 6.

Currently on cycle 2, coming towards the end of tww. We waited a little while to try due to circumstances. I'm excited but also nervous as i'm almost 5 years older than last time we conceived.

How old are you both if you don't mind me asking?

[TheGruffalosLoveChild]

I’m 34. How about yourself?

[shouldntbeonhereagain]

I don't strictly count but wondering if I could join in?! We are ttc #4. Only been off the pill a few weeks after 6 months on it. No clue what's happening with cycle and now just hoping we can actually get lucky again! My 3 are 6,4 and 2. Best of luck to you all!

[shouldntbeonhereagain]

Forgot to say am 37 !

[TheGruffalosLoveChild]

I’m sure it’s fine for you to stay on this thread . Good luck TTC#4! Hopefully things will go smoothly for all of us x

[YouMaySayImADreamer]

I am 34 too

Hi shouldntbe - ahh 4 will be lovely, it sounds like you'll have no problem! Good luck to everyone

[NamelessEnsign]

Hello . 35 and TTC#3, with a 7yo and a 3yo, and we both have to travel a fair bit for work so we don’t always manage TTC at the right time.

We are both excited and both afraid .

[Nat87alie]

Hi! I’m also ttc#3, I have 3yr old dd and 1 yr old dd. Fertile window next week.. eek

[cantagree]

I'm on the fence as the gaps would be too big. Dds are 8 and almost 5.

[Reecebryant1]

I’m trying to conceive !!!! I did a test yesterday and a very faint nearly invisible line showed and same again this morning.. I don’t know what to think I don’t want to get my hopes up

[NamelessEnsign]

Any luck, Reese?

DH said to me late last night: “what would you say if I suggested to stop trying for a third?”

Argh. I thought he was on board. Anyone else having doubts? cantagree we would have a 4 year gap after our DC2 too. Is it just too much to go back to the baby stage?

I really don’t do pregnancy well and I’m not a huge fan of the baby stage, but I have always pictured three kids - especially having three adult children one day. We both work full time in busy jobs - if we do have DC3 we are thinking about having a nanny and I would like to go to 3 or 4 days. If we had a nanny, DC1 and 2 would have more time at home instead of in after school clubs etc.

DH is afraid we don’t have enough energy left to give three kids. But our children are wonderful with each other and would be great with a third, I’m sure. We obviously can’t do this if DH isn’t persuaded. Am I in the wrong do you think?

[Reecebryant1]

Still a really faint line can barely see it unless you shine a torch :(

[TheGruffalosLoveChild]

Good luck Nat! How long have you been trying? What ages are your kids?

How come you're on the fence Can't? Just the large age gap?

Oh I'm sorry Reece. I hope you get a positive in the next few days. How long have you been trying? TTC is so stressful!

Nameless - Wow, that's a really tough one. Do you know why he's changed his mind? How do you feel about it all? I've never been out of the baby stage (oldest is only 2!) so I don't know if things get easier later on and whether it would be harder to go back to the baby stage. Do you think he'll change his mind or did he seem quite fixed?

I also totally relate to the pregnancy thing as I hate it (I get very bad anxiety & physically don't seem to sail through pregnancies!), plus it would mean another c section (so if I fell pregnant quickly, it would be 3 c sections in 3 years which really isn't great), so I do feel very nervous about it all...but then both of us really want a third child if we're able to. We obviously have the option to wait another year or two and see what happens, but as our 2 DC are close in age I'd really like any sibling to also be close in age with DC2...plus I'm quite keen to get my career back on track...plus I'm really keen to be 'done' with pregnancy (I say that, but we both TOTALLY get how lucky we are to have two healthy children and we'll never forget that).

[NamelessEnsign]

Thanks gruffalo. I really appreciate the chance to talk it through! We had another talk today and he seems much more on board. He said he just felt that maybe we should both want it more, if we are going to make a big change. I really do want it, but I’m also conscious of the things we would be giving up, and want to acknowledge that.

It really does change when you are dealing with school, homework, classes, and work. Our children haven’t been great sleepers (#1 didn’t sleep through the night even once before the age of 2) so the baby stages were hard. We love the toddler/preschool age. With our 7yo, we have sports classes, after school clubs, swimming, and childcare to juggle. It’s hard to picture being physically capable of doing so much with a DC3.

We have finished with nappies now, so back to that, and sleepless nights. But in my view that is all so short term compared to the long term!

I guess we are also thinking that we’d have an 18yo and 10yo which seems like a big gap. Equally, small gaps are tough on the parents! I know several really lovely families with teen and adult sibling sets of three and they all seem wonderful - they have different relationships and all seem so close!

I should confess that DH’s job takes him out of the country almost every week, and I travel overseas probably every 2-3 months, so the kids do suffer a bit on that front. But they are so resilient and so caring, and I think the same would be true with three.

Sorry, that is a huge ramble!

[Reecebryant1]

Thank you and since November

[cantagree]

Yes the age gap think puts me off. There's 3y10m between dd1 and 2. Even if I got upduffed tonight there'd be 5y7m between baby and dd2 and 9y5m between baby and eldest.

[TheGruffalosLoveChild]

How is everyone getting on? Any update Reece? You haven’t been trying long so don’t worry if it doesn’t happen this month .

How are you doing Nameless? Any closer to a decision? It’s certainly not an easy decision when you have so much going on. We are in a similar position to you in that we both have long hours, stressful jobs plus 2 non-sleeping children! DH is away a fair amount, although not as much as you and your DH by the sounds of it. Hopefully if a third is what you really want, and it sounds as if it is, DH will get back on board!

[Ovacado23]

Hi all im also ttc #3 regarding the age gap thing i have an 8yo DS and DD will be 7 in April (18month gap) ive been on the copper coil and had been wanting it out for a loooong time finally convinced DH last year. Im not worried about the age gap at all. Ds isnt fussed about having a new sibling hes a bit of a loner/ sensitive lad and likes to have alone time.(hes an AS like myself)♡ my two play ok together -sometimes- but dd is desperate for someone to play with. Shes a mother hen type herself very bossy and energetic and makes friends with younger children really easyily i feel so bad she hasnt got a younger sibling shed be a great little mummys helper and will certainly not be a "forgotten" middle child whe was a bit of a handful in her 3nage (lets face it she also had her 6teen year too!) Couldnt imagine having another so close in age again. So interesting to hear others views ♡♡

[Ovacado23]

Forgot to add i was 25 when started to ttc #3 -26 now (said id stop at 30) im one of 5 and im 22 yrs older than my youngest bro. My mum (now 46) had her long awaited 5th with new DH and she says its the hardest thing shes ever done. she just doesnt have the energy to keep up with him plus all the grandkids

[Nat87alie]

So is anyone due to ovulate this week? So we can keep each other company in the 2ww?!

[Kinsella82]

Hi can I join!?
TTC number 3
Have an almost 7 year old and a 4 year old. Also nervous and excited and worried about the gap etc but in my heart I know it's the right thing for us.
Came off the pill at Xmas so not 100 percent yet about my cycle but going by my AF at the end of Jan I think I'm ovulating anytime now! We've been dtd a lot so fingers crossed. Plan on doing it another couple of times during what I'm hoping is our fertile window! And then it's the waiting game!!

[NamelessEnsign]

Thank you, Gruffalo - I only just spotted your post! I still want to go for it - my reservations are really only to do with my work and my short term ability to cope with lack of sleep. DH is on board as long as I am sure. I’m worried I talked him into it. But he is a wonderful father and would be amazing with a third. I just hope he would never resent me for pushing the issue.

Nat I’m due to ovulate today (I think - CD12, with symptoms) and thankfully DH is due back from a trip today.

Kinsella - welcome! It sounds like we have similar age DC. Good luck!

Ovacado welcome a good luck too 🙂

[NamelessEnsign]

Gruffalo it is nice to know that someone in a similar position is thinking of having a third, too. All the people I know who have three had short gaps and SAHM who will look to get back into work when their youngest are at school. I’m so grateful I stayed in work for the last few years because my salary growth in that time has been considerable - it puts us in a very fortunate position compared to my wage pre-DC. But it means I don’t really know anyone in RL who is facing the same stuff as we are.

Few of my close friends have kids, and those who do have one or two and they are much younger. I have this idea that we’d get a nanny for the baby and then our other two could spend a lot less time in childcare, just doing the clubs etc that they love and have a lot more time at home. It’s a daydream

[TheGruffalosLoveChild]

I totally relate to that Nameless. I’m working full time and with a 2 and a bit year old and a 1 year old my entire salary goes on childcare (I actually took a new job and had to negotiate my salary up, just to make it match the childcare costs ). All the other mums I know don’t get why I would do that just to keep my career going (in fact some have been really catty about it) so, with a few lovely exceptions, I don’t really have any “mum” friends that I can bounce ideas off. Then my other friends are all “career girls” (hate that phrase - do we ever refer to men as “career boys”?) so also can’t really relate.

I think I have ovulated in the last 24 hours so now it’s the 2WW. Tbh an end of October/early Nov Baby isn’t ideal (my reason is very outing!) so I won’t be devastated if it doesn’t happen this month. Besides, it took us a few years to conceive DC1 so we may have a long journey!

Also Namesless - I’m sure once a third arrives your DH would never resent you, especially if you say he’s a good father. It sounds as though he just had a little wobble.