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Ttc after micarriage

(12 Posts)
Kejenkins1308 Mon 06-Nov-17 13:16:15

Just looking for some advice from someone in the same position as me.

I had a mmc at 12 weeks in July and we've been ttc pretty much since the bleeding stopped and still nothing. We've tried everything from planning sex around fertile days and last month as a desperate attempt we had sex almost every day and low and behold today my period comes. I had medical management for my mmc which didn't work so had to have a d&c I don't know if that makes a difference? This situation is taking over our lives now and we're both so unhappy, seems everywhere you look people are having babies except us!

TheCatsPaws Mon 06-Nov-17 18:50:36

Hi. Something similar happened to me, I had a missed miscarriage in July followed by the tablets followed by a d and c. I don’t have much advice but just wanted to say you’re not alone. I got a bfp a few days ago but when my doctor tested it it was negative, and they said I’m likely moscarrying. Again. Sigh.

It does take over doesn’t it? All I want is a healthy pregnancy and baby. It seems everyone else has it angry I’m not sad that they do I just wish it would happen for us too.

Take care xx

mossyroundhill Mon 06-Nov-17 18:57:48

Hi Kejenkins, I had a mmc in July at 12 weeks and a D&C. We started TTC again as soon as I stopped bleeding in August, and I got a BFP on Saturday. We DTD every other day using conceive plus lubricant. The only thing I did differently last month was try to accept in my mind that I was ready to move on but also stopped expecting to be pregnant. I had Ovia but I deleted it and didn’t symptom spot or try to tell when I was ovulating. Just lots of sex and focusing on other things.
Really hope you get your BFP soon flowers

Kejenkins1308 Mon 06-Nov-17 19:01:16

Thank you both 😊 It's just nice to know you're not alone, it feels like you are! My sister in laws just had a baby which is making moving on pretty much impossible and I feel awful but I just can't be happy for her. I hope everything goes well for you both x

coastalchick Mon 06-Nov-17 19:10:07

i had mmc end august with medical management start sept. We tried last month and DTD every day bar one during FW (when I was really sick with a tummy bug) but didn't conceive. FW has just started again so trying again but like you, feel like it's not going to happen. Not sure what the answer is. Last time we conceived we used pre-seed and clear blue digital ovulation tracker. But we also used that last month and it didn't work. I do wonder if it's just pot luck. Good luck to all of us xx

TheCatsPaws Mon 06-Nov-17 19:14:05

Fwiw this cycle we dtd pretty much twice daily in the fw. It did result in a bfp despite it looking like it might be a miscarriage. I honestly think at this point it’s luck.

Kejenkins1308 Mon 06-Nov-17 19:14:09

When we conceived in April/may id just come off the implant and thought it would take months but got pregnant straight away which I think makes this so much harder. People think saying things like 'don't worry you can try again'. I know they mean well but it's awful 🙄

TheCatsPaws Mon 06-Nov-17 19:15:15

Or the “it’s for the best” “everything happens for a reason”.

I had “look at Charlie Gard’s mum, I bet she wishes she’d miscarried” said to me. I nearly hit the person who said that.

JediStoleMyBike Mon 06-Nov-17 19:15:50

Try not to beat yourself up. What helped me is realising that you have a 35% chance of getting pregnant every month - that's all. Looking at it like that, it's amazing that it ever happens. You'll get there, it's just a small window of chance. It's bloody hard but I think half the battle is mental. Wishing the absolute best for you ❤️

Kejenkins1308 Mon 06-Nov-17 19:32:36

That's probably the worst thing I've ever heard! I just think you'd never say to someone who lost a child age 4 'never mind try again!' Were no less parents because we miscarried, I don't understand why people think it's okay to say. I think it's times like this you know who your real friends are and how much your family respect you, I've been friends and families true colours since losing our baby so I suppose some good has come of it! I hope everyone here gets their rainbow baby soon 🌈

shushpenfold Mon 06-Nov-17 19:39:53

Hi OP. I had a MMC in July (1999!!) I tried to chill about it and just go with the flow. Pg test was positive at the end of Nov and DS born in Aug 2000, then followed by Dd1 and DD2 a few years later. Try not to panic. X

Kejenkins1308 Mon 06-Nov-17 19:47:44

Thank you, I love stories like yours that end well, just can't wait to get there!

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