I am 29 and my partner is 43. We have been together 5 years and have our own house. We have always talked about having kids but it's always been "in the future" for him. I'd have had his child within a year of being together if I'm honest!
I was diagnosed with PCOS about 3 years ago after years of problems. I was put on the pill at first but that caused different problems and they took me off it a year ago. Since then my symptoms have been up and down but I have put up with it but it's beginning to get me down. The next thing they want to try is the coil but I don't want it. I want to try for a baby.
I've always had it in my head that I would have a baby before I am 30 (silly I know) and it's dawning on me that this isn't going to happen. I keep trying to bring up the subject but he always says we aren't ready, that I am too ill, that we don't have enough money etc. He doesn't seem to realise that I could have a hysterectomy after children which would stop all my symptoms!!
I'm becoming obsessive over it now. To the point that I think about leaving him to try and find someone who does want a baby with me. I almost feel like he is stringing me along. I don't know how much of my feelings are true or what's just me being hormonal and silly. I don't want to leave him....but I would if staying with him means no children.
It doesn't help that his friends that have children always say to us "don't do it!! It changes everything!" Or "I wish we had waited longer". His brother and sister in law have an IVF baby but the process almost cost them their marriage (luckily not) and I think that scares him too.
It's really upsetting me now. Who knows how long it could take me to concieve, if I can at all, and God knows how we would afford IVF if we needed it. He seems to think I am worrying over nothing and that it will all be fine, but what if it's not?
What can I do? How can I get him to be firmer in what he wants? All I get it "I'm warming to the idea of trying soon but not yet". He's said that for 2 years. Help!
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He isn't ready but I am
20 replies
Tink12345 · 13/10/2017 22:50
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