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ttc for too fucking long, a bit sad and ranty

(15 Posts)
Icklepickle101 Sat 15-Apr-17 21:14:09

I'm sad. DP doesn't 'get it' and is all "there's always next month" "it will happen" "don't get stressed about it, that won't help". Topped it off when Stacey from EastEnders announced her pregnancy and I cried.

We've only been trying just over a year which is a drop in the ocean to some people, but I'm sad and fed up.

I just need a whinge to people who get it....anyone?

SayenRose Sat 15-Apr-17 21:24:28

I get it sad it seems everyone around me is pregnant, all so easily too!

We've been trying for a year, which as you say isn't long. But we know now we have severe MFI, so are counting down to IVF... but still trying in desperate vain for a natural BFP.

Each month feels like a lifetime!

Sazwest Sat 15-Apr-17 21:29:10

I'm with you on that Hun I haven't been trying that long for child number 4 just a couple of months but keep seeing all the soaps, celebrities, friends all announcing there pregnant some not even trying, we dtd before my fertile week and over fertile week and a few days after and I'm 12dpo tomorrow and negative tests so far my AF is due Tuesday ( I normally get cramps and spotting on and off for 3-4days before af arrives and I've had nowt) xx

Icklepickle101 Sat 15-Apr-17 21:38:14

Over half my NCT group are pregnant again (some by accident) and I keep getting comments people are surprised we aren't 'in the club' yet, not for want of trying!!

Rose sorry to hear that, I hope the wait for IVF doesn't drag too much longer. A year is a really fucking long time but I feel bad for complaining when others have waited much longer but it is a really long fucking time!

fingers crossed for your Saz

physicskate Sat 15-Apr-17 21:39:55

We get it... I started ttc April 1 2016. I've had two chemicals so they won't test me or my dh. They've told me to have another miscarriage before they'll do any tests. Or wait another year.

At that point I've given myself a deadline before I throw myself off a bridge (march 31, 2018). But I've also given myself til august before we go private if the NHS are gonna go and tell me to have another miscarriage!!! So looks like throwing myself off the bridge won't happen. They tried to palm me off be prescribing anti-depressants. I'm depressed because I am desperate for a baby!!

So I'm sad and angry and depressed and hopeful at the same time.

Rant away. I'm sick of all the 'baby dust' crap. Just want my baby!! Seems like it isn't too much to ask!

sunshineandsea Sun 16-Apr-17 08:44:20

I get it too! We have just hit the year mark of TTC #1 and feel like it will never happen. We've started fertility testing but it's a long slow road and I'm scared about where it will lead.

Your feelings are completely normal and I think threads like this show that there are more of us in this situation than you might think! Xx

Anna2006 Sun 16-Apr-17 09:47:49

Oh ladies 😔 I really feel for you all.

@IcklePickle101 is this trying for your #2? I haven't been ttc for quite as long, onto month 7 but I lost a pregnancy before that at 13 weeks so we're not far off getting to a year of when we first started ttc. I know I was pregnant in that time but were still nearly a year down the line with no baby which would of been due now! And no new pregnancy in site.

Life is shit. People make us believe we will get pregnant at the drop of a hat and it just isn't true for a lot of people. Slog on ladies. There are options out there.

Copy what @physicskate said. Even though we got pregnant previously it doesn't guarantee another pregnancy quickly or at all in reality. So after 12 months if NHS fob us off for another year we will get fertility tests done private. I'm concerned my natural mc caused something or has changed it so I noe can't get pregnant. In reality this is maybe quite unlikely but there is always the unlucky few isn't there 😞

Xxxx

ohbigdaddio Sun 16-Apr-17 14:05:56

Another one here who gets it!
Been TTC #1 since March 2016 and absolutely no success. There seem to be pregnant women and families everywhere, grrr!
In the time we've been TTC several friends have given birth/become pregnant and one couple managed to 'accidentally' get pregnant with their 3rd which really felt like a kick in the teeth when we haven't even got baby number 1. Of course we are all different and 'running our own race' but, after so long trying, it does hurt. I can't help feeling angry and jealous and very down about it all!
I'm currently waiting for referral to NHS fertility unit for tests. If the letter doesn't arrive soon (been waiting 4 weeks) then we may go private to speed things up. I am 38 so worried about time.
Friends keep telling me to relax and just get on with my life – book an amazing holiday, make loads of exciting plans – and it will just happen but it is extremely hard to do this. I'm viewing the year ahead in terms of my cycles and literally wishing the weeks and months away when it's the TWW and when I get my period so that we can start trying again and then get the results!
Love to you all, know that you're not alone in feeling like this Icklepickle101.

ForeverHopeful21 Sun 16-Apr-17 16:36:08

Shit isn't it.
My friend is due to have her baby in a few weeks and she messaged me today asking why I haven't been in touch. I know it's selfish but I just feel so jealous!
I had a MC after TTC for 2.5 years. Not started trying again yet but I'm wondering if I even have the strength. Just the thought of trying again for years with no luck is sooo draining.
Funny how you spend your teenage years (and for me, my 20s too) trying not to get pregnant, and now I'd do anything for a baby of my own.
I feel your frustration Icklepickle101
xxx

AprilSkies44 Sun 16-Apr-17 19:16:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlemacarena Sun 16-Apr-17 21:02:53

I've just cone on after TTC3 and I feel bad for being sad when like you say some people are trying for a lot longer... It doesnt help that someone who I thought was a best friend decided to start trying, without telling me despite years of protesting that she never wanted kids, falls in about 3 weeks of trying and is now 3 months.. I can understand the jealousy thing... sad just gotta keep at it!!

Cariad2017 Sun 16-Apr-17 21:22:45

No advice from this end, but just popping on to say that you're definitely not alone and I totally get this. We're currently on cycle 6 ttc #2 and like you, half of our NCT group are already pregnant (none of whom
had been trying as long as us). I know that in the greater scheme of things, this isn't long at all, but DH is already warning me that it might never happen...

Ttc DC1 was a hard slog over a year involving a cp, and a ruptured ectopic, but I really hoped that this time things would be different and we'd be one of the "lucky" ones who got pregnant quickly and stayed that way. It evidently wasn't to be.

Sending enormous hugs to everyone on this thread. I wish I could wave a magic wand and take your pain away. Let's raise a glass to the prospect of 2018 babies and BFPs all round (ideally sooner rather than later). Xxx

Anna2006 Sun 16-Apr-17 21:43:24

Hear hear to that @Caraid2017. It's a tough old slog this. The prospect of 2018 babies is what we all have to hold onto.

Let's find some reassurance in the fact there is more of us in this boat then we feel. It seems your surrounded by people that fall pregnant at the drop of a hat every single time but in reality people that take a little longer albeit well within normal range just don't tend to shout it from the roof tops.

Simirent Mon 17-Apr-17 00:23:05

I hear you! I too am fed up. Seems everyone around me gets pregnant except me. I can't even be happy for them and that makes me feel bad sad. Been trying for a baby for what seems like a long time. Came close to it last year when I was pregnant with my little girl but unfortunately she was stillborn at 27 weeks last year. Just feel like I'll never have kids at this rate. It's so hard having constant negative tests n trying so hard sad. It's shit just such a stressful process. I have no words of wisdom except just hang on in there and please know your not alone and all them feelings are completely normal. I can't even look at my Facebook coz all I see is happy baby stories n it just makes me want to scream, cry, get mad. All normal unfortunately sad hopefully our day will come one day. Good luck

physicskate Mon 17-Apr-17 10:22:08

I've come off Facebook, despite being on it for over 12 years!

I'm really sorry to here about your daughter simi...

It's just the constant cycle of expectation/disappointment... that lily-white bfn month after month after month. And no baby to show for it. Congrats those of you who have kids - there is light at the end of your tunnel.

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