I was sterilised 13 years ago when I was sure my family was complete. However am now in a new relationship and we are wanting a child together. Anyone been in a similar situation and want to talk some sense into me
Well from a practical point of view there are a lot of reasons why its just not possible. Can sterilisation be reversed? And even if you could, your age would indicate that it would be very difficult to conceive.
Its like me saying I really want to be a mermaid, can people talk some sense into me please.
How old are your children. Why not just focus on them and wait for grandkids.
Sorry, but I don't agree with ttc at that age, or going down the egg donor and surrogate route. Even if you conceived straight away you'd be at least 68 by the time they finished uni. That's not really fair on the child. My father didn't even live that long, but at least I had finished school!
Your odds of conceiving naturally would be very small (assuming the sterilisation could be reversed). You could go down the route of using an egg donor, in which case the sterilisation shouldn't be relevant.
Five children already - count your blessings! Pregnancy puts a massive strain on the body, even if young and healthy. And IVF can put massive pressure on a relationship, with your partner as well as your existing children who will have to live through the emotional rollercoaster and hormonal episodes. Have you thought of counselling to talk through issues and grieve the child you may never have together? And I don't mean to sound flippant but maybe look to get a pet instead?
If you do go down the IVF route and succeed, please ensure you have a will written with guardians allocated to bring up the child should anything happen to you and your partner. And don't leave the child rearing to your elder kids.
Broodiness is a horrible thing! I am 49 and still broody for another one. However I try to get rid of the broody feelings, it doesn''t work, so I just have to ignore them. Think about how sleepless nights and toddlers do not mix with teenagers (assuming your 13 year old lives with you).
Have you tried thinking about how you can do other things with your new partner. Alternatively both of you go full steam ahead and see if there is anywhere that will allow you to have IVF. It will cost a fortune and you will possibly be forced to use donor eggs, will that be ok for you both? Will it still feel like your own baby with one of you not genetically related? Have you the finances to fund the IVF and still support your current children? If after all the difficult questions you still feel strongly that it is right for you, then go for it. It might or might not work, but if you don't try then you might regret it. I tried for my forth child that never happened between the ages of 42 and 47, just had 12 miscarriages during that time instead. But I don't regret trying.
Thanks everyone for your input. Finances aren't a problem fortunately and sleepless nights aren't an issue either as I have way more energy these days than I did when my children were little. We have thought about fostering but not looked into it properly,which I think might be our next step.