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18mths ttc and given up hope

(28 Posts)
Rainbowsockstoday Sun 05-Mar-17 11:37:14

We started TTC 09/15 for #2 and every month it's a massive emotional blow when AF comes. I feel like I'm letting my OH down and don't know what we are doing wrong. Our DC1 was a complete accident so can't even remember what we did then to conceive. I need a pick up really because I just want to quit now.

Anyone got any working advice for getting a BFP? Today is CD1 for me so feeling low xx

yorkshiremama Sun 05-Mar-17 11:46:37

Similar boat but not as long I'm afraid - we only started not being careful in October but nothing yet. DC1 was a 'sod it' moment of passion where we didn't use protection, yet this time it's proving tricky.

I had a bad section first time round with lots of problems after, and 2 years down the line I still can't feel my tummy, so I've been wondering if this has anything to do with it.

The wish I could just not think about it, and go back to not trying but trying if you know what I mean.

I wish I could give you some words of wisdom. The most reliable thing I have been told is just DTD lots .

Rainbowsockstoday Sun 05-Mar-17 11:56:50

We've been DTD daily from cd5 onwards but someone on a different site said every other day is better to give the tiddlers time to regroup.

flossyfloss Sun 05-Mar-17 11:58:14

We've in the same boat and cycle 17 sad

Had all tests and everything fine. Starting femara next cycle. I'm starting to think it will never happen x

Rainbowsockstoday Sun 05-Mar-17 12:38:02

We already have a DC so can't get any help with conception unless we pay privately and I don't think we can afford it.

satsoooma Sun 05-Mar-17 13:05:23

Are you sure about that rainbow? You would not be eligible for IVF, but if you have been trying for more than a year, your GP should do tests to see if anything is wrong. There are plenty of other treatments before you get to the IVF stage which you should still be eligible for on the NHS.

If you are having regular periods, then you are probably ovulating, which is a good first step. DTD every day is ok, unless your partner has issues. In which case, every 2-3 days is better I think.

But definitely go see your GP.

Rainbowsockstoday Sun 05-Mar-17 13:10:58

That's interesting to know. So can they prescribe medication and alternative methods? I thought the fact we have our little angel (he's so amazing we HAVE to have another) meant we would be turned away by the NHS.

As to DTD daily I might aim for daily but settle for every other day as our DC is 2 and can be a bit unsettled.

I am on another thread now where people have some ideas about diet. Wondering if an overhaul is in order. Except when we fell 1st time I wasn't eating to conceive so seems fruitless.

satsoooma Sun 05-Mar-17 13:16:01

They can prescribe all sorts of medicines and other procedures. Exactly what they can offer will obviously depend on whether the initial tests show up an issue with you, or your partner.

While you wait for a GP appointment, eating healthily (not a crazy diet) and getting more exercise can help with a lot of issues that can cause fertility problems. If you are currently overweight, losing weight can make huge differences to your fertility.

flossyfloss Sun 05-Mar-17 13:23:06

Rainbow I already have 4 children so don't get ivf but have had tests and been given femara for 6 months

Rainbowsockstoday Sun 05-Mar-17 14:08:46

I'm not overweight in the medical sense of things because my bmi is safely in the normal range. I probably could eat better and cut down on the biscuits and sweets though. When I conceived he first time I was bulimic so that makes it all the more annoying now.

I'll speak to my gp and see what can be done to help. My oh just says that there are people out there trying for years and years before they get help so we should just keep trying till we get there. He said the fact we have a DC means we definitely will have another when the time is right.

Rainbowsockstoday Sun 05-Mar-17 15:01:38

Flossy what's femara? I tried dr google and it said it was for breast cancer treatment and post menopause to reduce estrogen.

CuriousMary Sun 05-Mar-17 16:15:11

Hi rainbows!
Get yourself to the doctor! I am also ttc number 2 and as the same as you we thought we wouldn't be eligible for any form of treatment. How wrong I was! They've done all the test and I am waiting for the next steps.
Don't delay. Get yourself to the doctors X

satsoooma Sun 05-Mar-17 16:42:27

I think that men and women can both resist the idea of getting medical help in this situation. In a sense, you are admitting to yourselves that something might be wrong and fertility problems on either side can make you feel like you are letting your family down (I say this as someone who might actually have to get IVF soon).

But it is incredibly common to need a little help, even if you have already had children. And the solution could be as simple as DTD a bit less frequently, or just taking a course of pills.

Rainbowsockstoday Sun 05-Mar-17 16:58:16

I'm totally up for doing what it takes. Today though is CD1 and all I want to do is cry and hug the one baby I have. I don't want to scare the little poppet though 😢😂

GeneralTFuckup Sun 05-Mar-17 17:19:31

Rainbow I'm in pretty much the same boat, I started ttc#2 in late 2015 and we've got nowhere. I'm cd 1 today too and feeling so low. I went to see the doc and finally had bloods taken last week, receptionist said everything was normal when I rang to get the results so I'm feeling even worse about that, ridiculous I know, I should be happy nothing is wrong but I was so hoping they'd be able to find something to fix. I don't know how much longer I can go on Ttc and getting that crushing feeling every time Af shows. I'm not any help to you, but at least know you aren't alone. And do go to the drs, they can give you blood tests as a starting point. flowers

flossyfloss Sun 05-Mar-17 19:05:08

GeneralT I was the same kind of hoping there was a pr been so at least they could fix it but it turned out all tests fine and it's so frustrating as there's no answer why sad

Rainbow if you google femara fertility it should give you more info. It's called letrozole sometimes too. It does reduce oestrogen and you take from day 3-7 of your cycle and it works in a similar way to clomid and makes more follicles and eggs ripen and so hopefully increase the chance of conception each month. I'm just waiting for my period due in about 5 days so I can start taking them x

GeneralTFuckup Sun 05-Mar-17 22:07:06

Flossy can I ask what happened after tests, did your gp offer anything? I am going to try to speak to a Dr tomorrow to ask for more info about my test results and next steps.

satsoooma Mon 06-Mar-17 11:18:32

I expect that your GP will send you for some further tests General. There are plenty of fertility issues that would not show up on a blood test, like if your partner has fertility issues, or you have blocked fallopian tubes.

I had perfectly normal bloods, but still found out that I have pretty bad PCOS once I got an ultrasound.

I found this page pretty accurate in terms of what options are available: NHS infertility

Rainbowsockstoday Mon 06-Mar-17 13:50:06

Thanks for the advice ladies. My gp has booked me in for blood tests, an ultrasound and a smear test. My DH has also been asked for a sample too. Hopefully they will be able to tell us how we can move forward and get this baby made. Meanwhile I'm eating right and doing the BD with mr to help nature xx

GeneralTFuckup Mon 06-Mar-17 14:56:55

Great news Rainbow! Satsooma thank you, Dr has agree to refer us to a fertility clinic, so hopefully within the next few weeks we may get a letter.

Rainbowsockstoday Mon 06-Mar-17 17:38:05

What the dr has said though is whilst I wait for appts for X-rays, scans and bloods that we have to use contraception because if we conceive it'll make the tests invalid. He said it might be up to six months though to get all the tests done. I can't wait that long 😬

flossyfloss Mon 13-Mar-17 15:36:33

I wasn't told to wait, that seems daft! If you end up pregnant you won't care if the tests are off!

harry78 Tue 14-Mar-17 09:16:12

Hi everyone. I am having bloods and scan is booked. I feel the problem might lie in my luteal phase it's about 10 days with spotting around 8dpo until AF. Any thoughts on what I can be doing while I wait for tests?

LuckyHappyMummy123 Tue 14-Mar-17 09:43:35

Harry78 - I always think vitamin b6 helps. I started taking it for pmt reasons and my cycle has lengthened by 2 to 3 days each month from 25/26 to 27/28 sometimes 29. I stopped for a while and it shortens again so I know it's the b6 which helps with a lot of other things too smile

harry78 Tue 14-Mar-17 09:45:12

Hiya I have been taking b6 and there is less spotting but it's still happening. Do you mind me asking if you saw immediate results? Also how much do you take?

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